Starting to Feel More Comfortable (12/6/2012)

I'm starting to feel more comfortable and at peace with my decision to drop to mid-stakes.  I realized again this week how important it is to have a life outside of poker.  With mid-stakes you can easily have one.  I want to be playing 5 nights a week MAX.  Mid-stakes for me is all about putting in consistent hours while not ruining schedule. 

The players seem especially awful after coming from high-stakes.  There are adjustments to be made, but you can more frequently find tables where there can be one or two spots and no threats whatsoever.

I'm not just doing this to drop the stress in my life mentally and financially.  It's important that I crush 2/5.  This means expanding and becoming laggier in spots that demand it.  I don't plan to attempt stabalization at 5/10 again until my hourly at mid-stakes is killing it over a 500 hour sample size, or my bankroll becomes much bigger.  I'm going to have to earn the right to move up again, even more so this time around.

Baglife Inc. Update (11/29/2012)

Here

Grueling Sunday Session (11/26/2012)

I ended up playing a 12 hour session on Sunday.  My efforts yielded a net profit of +$120.  I stayed the majority of the session because I felt like it (as opposed to forcing myself), which is promising.  At 7a.m I decided it just wasn't my night.

I was happy with my play for the most part.  There was a big hand where I got outplayed by a aggro-fish who made a bizarre all-in bluff at about 200BBs deep against my double barrel 3-way.  I have to give him credit, it was a nice play, I couldn't call.  That was my chance to double through and book a decent win.  I don't feel like typing out the hand, it's justified in my head and irrelevant at this point, best to let it go.  Just one reoccuring problem after another for the past two months.

Normally I wouldn't stay past 8 hours without some sort of great image and decent profit, but I felt the need to make an exception because the game was really good.  I paid the price today, the session left  me unproductive on Monday.  I'm not really happy with myself for staying past 5a.m.  One of the reasons I dropped to mid-stakes was so I don't have to endure this sort of abuse.  On a live mid-stakes game it's almost never worth it to seriously screw up your schedule.  I know this, I've made the mistake more times than I can count during my poker career.  But apparantly I like to just completely ignore what I've learned. 

THAT'S RIGHT, repeating the same foolish course of action expecting different results!  WHAT NOW?

-bag

Trying To Motivate Myself (11/25/2012)

I've been brain-storming tonight, trying to think of a way to motivate myself. 

I just returned from Thanksgiving break.  I haven't played in 6 nights and still have no desire to grind.  I literally forced myself to come back to AC area.  My poker situation is somewhat code-red at the moment.  I don't remember the last time I've taken off so long with no desire to return to the grind.  It's definitely not a good time.  It seems the last big trip and simultaneous down swing has really took something out of me.

Also the prospect of returning to mid-stakes after playing high stakes for the past 4.5 months is humbling, but I still think it’s necessary at this time.

I wanted to write out some daily targets out for the upcoming week, since I feel very unmotivated and still somewhat down in general.  I’m trying to think of something that would motivate me at this time.  Getting laid by a hot girl would be nice (one thing I miss about Asia), that’s about all I can think of, or maybe having a night out getting drunk with friends.  Sounds like a club night?  So here’s the deal.  If I hit all of my targets for the upcoming week I can take a reward of a full blowout club night redeemable at any time.  Yes anytime, that includes Friday, Saturday, or whenever. 

Then again I think it’s fine to take a club night per week in general (if I'm in the mood), but not more than one.  So yeah this would be an extra party night for hitting my targets.

Actually, I'm having trouble thinking about a reward I would actually want and value?  The club night would be cool, but I'm not sure I should be restricting myself of that in general.  Ok here is the reward: a "baglife token".  this token can be redeemed for things such as:

- extra club night

- concert ticket

- vacation night

- vandalize something

-whore house

- unnecessary shopping purchase

These are just a few examples of the great rewards I can earn redeeming baglife tokens.

So these earned tokens will allow me to treat myself in a position where I would have previously said: "no you shouldn't you should really stay focused for reason X."

The tokens are my only escape!

Yes I actually think this idea has potential.  So if I hit all my targets for a week I get one baglife token.

I'm going to actually update the token hunt weekly.  I created a separate section on this website for this:

Motivation Project (Baglife Tokens)

This way if you think it's a really stupid idea and don't give a shit that's fine you don't have to follow it.  I also want to keep it categorized separately since I plan to be updating this at least twice per week.  The separate section will keep the main journal from getting flooded.

Here are my targets for the upcoming week

-bag

Struggling With Moving Down (11/19/2012)

My drop to 2/5 has started off with my nuts getting kicked in as usual.  I started up on Saturday +$925.  I followed up Sunday Monday down -$1270.  Monday I lost close to $900 in 4.5 hours.  I got stacked for $500 on a mega set up hand I'm never folding.  The other -$400 occured as I literally lost every hand I played.  I'm not playing bad, but not my A-game. 

I've realized I'm somewhat out of touch with playing 2/5.  So basically I don't really fit in anywhere right now.  I have to get used to basically toning it down to the core and playing a 90%+ all value straight-forward game.  Beating 2/5 for a decent win-rate is extremely boring for me compared to 5/10 at times.  There's no stress financially, but there is a good amount of agnoizing boredom, anger, and depression that can easily build up with 2/5 (which I'm already feeling somewhat).  I guess it's either grind out emotionally crushed at 2/5, or have a heart attack playing 5/10.

I have to find a way to really dig down and grind out a few solid months on mid-stakes.  I'm going home for Thanksgiving so I'm planning to take at least 5 nights completely away from playing poker.

When I come back I also want to try to focus on a different casino a few nights a week that only has 2/5 running.  I think this will really help me personally.  It puts me on tilt seeing the 5/10 regulars strolling around.  And it's very hard for me not to check the 5/10 games.  I think it would be good to be in an environment with just no 5/10 and all. 

Don't really feel like typing anymore.  I feel quite defeated and disgusted at the moment.