September Ends and Thoughts (9/30/2010)

I’m very happy it’s finally the last miserable day of this month.  The entire month has been dominated by the standard amount of corporate oppression like usual.  You think I would be used to it after almost three years, but I guess I never really did get used to it.  I’ve just been counting down the work-days this month.  I officially have 17 work-days left total including today I think.  Well by the end of next month I will be playing poker full time and have that chance to show what I'm made of.

I’ve always loved playing poker (preferably winning poker).  I first had the dream of playing full time perhaps four years ago or so.  But then it really was just a dream.  I didn’t have the bankroll or even skill to give myself a chance.  I recently checked back to the first few entries on this blog out of curiosity.  That was about 11 months ago.  Around that time I made the absolute commitment to get myself in a position to play full time no matter what it took.  I wanted to jump the gun and immediately move to Vegas, I almost did.  But I’m so happy that I instead took a more conservative path.  Now I have the bankroll, commitment, and skill to back it up.  Vegas never happened, but I realized anything I can accomplish poker-wise in Vegas, I can accomplish around AC area. 

The only exception would be high-stakes live in Vegas, a level I’m not even close to.  Sure Vegas has 20x more culture.  But in my current situation I’m also in a nice town a few blocks from the beach, which will be amazing during the summer.  Besides, I don’t need the scene of Vegas.  I sacrificed that scene to have the closer support of family and friends who are only 3 hours north or south of me.  I will still be able to visit Manhattan whenever I want which is a hell of a scene where I have friends/family deep-rooted there.  I can also go back to Maryland whenever I want to see family/friends.  If I was in Vegas alone and needed a break from poker what the hell would I even do?  I also decided on the closer move in case things really don’t work out.  I can cut my losses a lot easier.  Yes I haven’t ruled out the distinct possibility that I could fail.  I will do everything in my to power keep myself from that fate, but yes it could happen.  However, people fail going after their dreams every day.  I realize I'm not some inhuman exception immume to failure.  I clearly understand the risks involved with dedicating my life to poker full time.

When I look at the upcoming I don’t see “I might fail” as maybe I flip out and put 10 grand on black at a roulette table.  If I “fail” it would most likely be a point where I realize that I’m not achieving a lifestyle that is acceptable to me by playing poker.  I’ll just leave it at that for now.

My journey is still just beginning and I have a lot to prove.  I also have a lot of work to still do.  But I will never regret the experience ahead of me, which I have worked so hard for.  “My journey is just beginning” is very important.  I’m not trapped in corporate for the next 20 years.

MY JOURNEY IS JUST BEGINNING.

So this weekend I’m back in AC.  I will leave tomorrow and move some things up.  It’s going to be amazing going up without having to book a dreadful hotel.  Being able to use my own place 5 minutes from the casinos whenever I want!  Also, I got really lucky on the roommate situation and another girl signed on the lease last week.  So the triple entente is complete.  Quite a relief that I didn’t have to pick up that portion of the rent out of my own pocket.  And I preferred another girl so I pretty much got what I wanted.

Poker Updates:

My online sessions did not go well Sunday.  If I lose one more session I will have dropped 4 out of the last 5 and should drop to only 6 tables at once.  I haven’t played since Sunday but have been putting in some decent studying during the week.  I study how some of the top players play certain hands, and then I compare what I would have done.  It feels sometimes online they are playing chess against fish, while I am playing checkers.  If I keep playing checkers instead of chess against the common passive-fish I’m going to continue to give up profits.

I still finished up online for the month of September.  Probably around +$600, so not terrible.  However, most of my profit came live where I was up over $1700 for the month (with very little volume).  I might put in a 3 hour session tonight if I have time, but nothing crazy.  I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow.  Driving and moving things up, meeting this new roommate, regrouping, and probably playing over 8 hours live Friday night.  I want to play over 20 hours live from Friday-Sunday.  Then back to the day job for the first week of October.  The next few weeks should be an incredibly stressful but interesting balance.  I plan to update on this weekend when I get back.  Certainly not expecting the stars to align for another +$1,000 session in one night, but even +$300 for the weekend would be worth it.  Certainly aiming for more, but it doesn't always happen.

-bag

Disappointing Weekend so Far (9/26/2010)

I decided to stay in this entire weekend and grind online.  The next two weekends I’m going to be in AC playing live and moving so I felt it was important to put in decent volume.  As of this point it’s been very frustrating.  I’ll give a quick summary and discuss:

9/24/2010:  (9:00 p.m – 12:00 a.m), 3 hours, net loss: -$2

9/24/2010:  (1:00 a.m- 4:15 a.m), 3.5 hours, net loss: -$169

9/25/2010:  (3:30 p.m- 6:30 p.m), 3 hours, net profit: +$27

9/25/2010:  (7:40 p.m- 10:50 p.m), 3 hours, net profit: +$14

9/25/2010:  (11:45 p.m- 3:45 a.m), 4 hours, net loss: -$55

Summary:

Hours:  16.5

Hands:  7,925

EV:  -$361

Net Loss:  -$185

End Roll:  $3791

Thoughts:

So much for breaking 4k!  For the most part I did play well.  There were some ridiculous coolers and 2-3 outer suck-outs running rampant during these 16.5 hours.  Every time I chipped my way back up I would be punished by a mind-fuck of a suck-out or cooler.  However, I think it’s important that I did beat the EV.  4 out of the 5 sessions I steadily beat the EV.  The exception was the miserable late Friday night session where I was down -$169.  I only happened to be down -$145 EV there, so not good.  I reviewed that session and I slipped into a mode where I played too tight which made things worse.  Also, the tables were for some reason absolutely atrocious during that session.  This is exactly the time where you should be even more aggressive, expand your range, and pick up dead money.  I probably would have been better off not finishing it.  Also after being awake the entire day I was very tired during the 1:00 a.m- 4:15 a.m stretch.

Sometimes all you can do is make the correct decisions, beat the EV steadily, and keep fighting.  I’m not going to go into posting individual hands, but let’s just say I didn’t even close to run normal here.  I’m neglecting to post, it’s not funny it’s just sick.  The EV does not tell the story of some of the shit that went down.

About to get some sleep.  I plan to continue to work hard on the tables tomorrow.  I want to play around 6-9 hours.  Not great results so far this weekend, but the -$185 isn’t the end of the world.  Looking to spin up some buy-ins tomorrow.  I find one of the softest days online is Sunday.  I feel tomorrow is either going to be a great day, or a day of lost potential and shattered dreams.  Will do a quick log on Sunday’s sessions even if they continue to go like shit.  Won 2 out of the last 4 (even know the losses have out-weighed the wins this weekend) so still going with 8 tables at the moment.

Clearing the stupid bonus has also been in the back of my mind (though never during the actual sessions).  I’m just under half-way to clear the $1500.  There really is no rush since I have until 12/16/2010 to put in the other half of the volume.  But I really want to get it out of the way sooner rather than later.  I don’t to force myself to put hands in online if I’m not feeling it, but tomorrow will be an important day volume wise. 

-bag



Wednesday Win and Going Forward (9/22/2010)

3.5 hour Wednesday Session:

As I'm typing this it's actually early Thursday, but the session I'm referring to in the post technically started on Wednesday so I'll leave it at that.  I picked up a nice +$294 in profit tonight.  I ran very well with a few of my big hands actually getting paid off, but a lot of that was due to table selection.  Also I made very few mistakes.  There was one I found where I mis-read a 3-bet range and called when I shouldn't have.  I won't bore you with all the variables, but I calculated it out after the session.  Basically I needed a 41.5% equity to call, where my TT was only getting a 33% equity.  Slight mistake there, but it was against a short=stacker for a smaller pot at least.  As expected he turned over JJ and held.

I didn't lose any full buy-ins tonight, this is the way I have to play going forward.  I can't be spewing away $50 buy-ins EVER, that is really unacceptable.  There were a few spots where I could have spazzed and pushed back against weak players repping super strong on the flop/turn, but I stuck with my reads.  I should be losing buy-ins to big suck-outs or monster coolers.  I mean that should be the only excuse.

So a great session tonight +$294 in 3.5 hours.  I'm thrilled and not really tired even know it's 1:40 a.m.  At least I will have something to feel good about while rotting in the dark office tommorrow.  That's 2 out of the last 3 sessions won.  4 out of 5 wins and  I can evluate and decide if I want to jump to 10 tables.  I'll play tommorow if I'm not completely dead from lack of sleep.  But if not I'll be putting in some time this weekend.  Either in AC or online (haven't decided yet).

I'm finally feeling very confident about my progress online going forward.  When I'm living in AC area I expect to be grinding online at least Monday-Wednesday or something like that (assuming I continue progressing well).  Meanwhile I know I will have the ability to destroy live games anytime.  It'll be a 5-minute drive instead of 3.5 hours!

Other Concerns:

I'm also still looking for a third roommate, which kind of sucks because the lease starts October 1st.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed because if I don't get another roommate by then I will have to pick up the $450 for the month that a third person would be paying.  I can afford it, but yeah I obviously wouldn't be bouncing off the walls excited to pay it.  I told the girl who signed the lease with me that I would pick up their portion of the first month if it came to that.  A little nice of me, but it's fine.  Sort of fair because when she agreed to this it was orginally going to be us and the "baller poker player", and we know that all went to shit.  Also I don't think she makes a ton of money.  Besides she's nice and I want her to be happy, so yeah we will see.  One more girl is looking at the place Saturday and someone else checked it out last night.  The one who looked last night hasn't decided, which I'm assuming means "no" but I suppose crazier things have happened.

I would honestly rather pay the extra $450 for a month then agree to let a miserable third roommate live there.  A terrible person living there could ruin the entire year and make for a very unenjoyable experience.  So yeah I'll just pay the extra money if it comes to that.

Other than that I have everything to look forward to.  I know I have the skillset to crush live, and it feels like online is starting to come around fast.  I'll miss some friends and my parents, but I won't miss corporate one bit.  I will miss nothing about that place even if things aren't going great.  I want to stay away from "devour your soul" corporations like that for as long as possible. 

So I get to go after my dreams and have a nice place lined up 5 minutes from the Borgota/AC.  Also a really cute/cool roommate.  What else do I need here?  I don't know anyone in that area really, but I'll meet people in casinos quickly.  I usually don't have a problem meeting new people when I actually want too.  I also have Starcraft II and bought Civilization V today so I don't ever see myself not having anything to do or bored.  Poker will take up most of the time anyways whether it be live or online.   It's all about giving myself a shot to escape corporate for good.  I may be quitting, but I haven't fully escaped until I'm crushing it month to month with poker.  I won't forget that.

That's it for tonight.....

Session Overview:

Time:  3.5 Hours

Hands:  1,771

Beat EV: Yes

Net Profit:  +$294

Ending Bankroll:  $3976

(I'm hoping to break 4k soon and keep it there.  I could deposit more, but I really want to work my way up and make this online roll self sustaining.  I'm just under 80 buy-ins and have a $1500 bonus pending so sustainability is very doable.)

-bag

Cutting Tables Goal and 3 Hour Session (9/20/2010)

I don't have any psycho commentary tonight, but I did put in a decent 3 hour session for +$244.  I was happy with the way I played and didn't make a lot of mistakes.  I also dropped to 8 tables and kept it at that mark the entire time.  I constantly table selected and found some more profitable tables.  Part of the reason I dropped was because some of the advice given in the comment section of my last commentary flip out post.  Serious thanks to blog reader and Lucypher.  I probably would have played another 12 table + session without dropping if it wasn't for that.  I also saw no reason why I shouldn't cut the tables considering I lost 3 out of the last 4 sessions going into tonight.  I can afford to at this stage.

Going forward I want to stick to an 8 table maximum during each session.  That doesn't mean let it go to 9 or 10 because I'm up +$200 and the tables are too good to be true.  That means cut the other two god damn tables tables and keep it at 8 no matter what.  This is really important.  I am an undisciplined online player in this area.  I honestly think my biggest leak right now is playing too many tables at once.  This causes me to make more incorrect decisions.  It also causes me to lose focus more quickly when things aren't going my way.  Also, I don't table select as well.  So my win-rate quickly becomes a loss-rate.

I understand I have the "micro-skills" to keep up with the action and play a ton of tables at once.  However, at this stage in my poker "career" I need to squeeze the EV out of every situation, improve, and gradually build up.  This is not a video game it's my money, and it is my livelihood.  If I'm losing because making incorrect decisions whether it be online or live I feel like a complete failure.  There is no shame in playing 8 tables at once, there is no shame playing 4 tables at once.

So going forward online a big goal for me will be to strictly control the number of tables I play at once during any given session.  If the proven results aren't present than there is no way in hell 18 tables at once should be.

Starting out I'm going to leave it at EIGHT MAX and feel out my progress.  That doesn't mean 8 with the option to let it go to 12 if things are going well, that means EIGHT MAX.  I want to win at least 4 out of 5 sessions (only counting those at least 3 hours+ in duration) before I consider adding an additional two tables.  I understand that winning 4 out of 5 sessions might take a while.  Even if I'm playing incredible it's still easy to drop two out of every five sessions due to running poorly.  But this is sort of the point, I want to make sure I'm progressing correctly.  Also if I lose 4 out of 5 sessions I'm immediately dropping to a mere 6 tables at once.  So I'm going to have to earn my right to play more tables.  If I'm so fucking capable of playing all these tables than why not prove it?

So tonight was a solid three hour win that's one session.  Therefore, I have to win at least 3 out of the next 4 to go up to 10 tables. 

Session Overview:

Hours: 3

Hands:  1,488

VPPs Cleared (Or Portion of Bonus cleared):  Who the fuck cares?  You do still want to have a bankroll 9k VPPs later without depending on the life support of a bonus right?  And it's not desirable for you to dump more money into an online poker account correct?  And you will now have to pay rent the next 12 months and are no longer living in a fantasy world?  You are good enough to grind up with $3,650 and 73 buy ins at your game of choice correct?  You don't want to re-live the path to Supernova nightmare right?

Beat EV:  Yes

Profit:  +$244

Ending Bankroll:  +$3,682

Tommorow:  Corporate FML

Online Commentary -$370 Trainwreck (9.18.2010)

I started off tonight really bad.  Down somehow -$225 in about 3 hours.  I’m reviewing some hands now, going to take a break and put in at least 3 more hours.  I really can’t put into words how much I despise online compared to live, I can’t say it enough.  How the fuck did I just lose 4 and a half buy ins again?  It never makes sense.  I have to think: when is the last time I’ve lost 4 buy-ins live in 3 hours?  Oh right never, that doesn’t happen.  I was about 18 tabling at one point so maybe that was too much.  Guess I have to put things in perspective as well, I’m never playing 18 tables live at once.  Then again I never pull off a decent win online to balance things out, so there is the problem.  Also the tables were pretty pathetic.  Looking at my stats it also looked like I nitted up too much and started missing spots.  I also ran -$180 in EV which means nothing I guess, but not even beating the EV is never great.  Oh yeah, I started the first Supernova bonus tonight for $1500, so I’ll naturally be doom-switched the next 10,000 VPPs.  I CAN’T LEAVE ANYWAYS.  I have to clear the bonus right?  Bullshit.

So I’m going to regroup and try to get something going here.  I want to stick to 12 tables during the next session and constantly table select.  I don’t want to go past this mark unless I go up several buy-ins (which will never happen, but whatever).  I have a serious control issue online.  I play to many tables at once.  I think I can handle it, but I feel like too many mistakes add up with that many.  The main difference between my live and online play is simple.  Live I don’t make mistakes, online I do.  It doesn’t get any more simple.  So drop the damn tables and stop making mistakes?

I also want to log a commentary for the next 3 hours+.  I think it may help me from jumping on to many tables at once.  Bored?  Write the commentary.  And besides it’s been so long!

1:08 a.m

5 hour energy take, oh God.  Probably a bad idea since I wanted to actually work out tomorrow before I go out.  It’s a friends bday so tomorrow night is going to be rough.

1:20 a.m

Under-way here.  I have my first 4 tables or so up and I’m on several waiting lists.  Looking forward to getting my ass handed to me.

Music:  Techno

Mood:  Skeptical and surprisingly tired

1:25 a.m

12 tables up.  GREAT NOW STOP ADDING TABLES.  Will be table selecting constantly, but no more than 12 please.  They are about half fast, but I can keep up with the action just fine.  Starting a “under consideration” slot where I will pile up potential promising tables.

1:45 a.m

Table 12 AK < AQ all in pre -$30.  Thanks always a pleasure.

2:00 a.m

Table 12.  All in -$100.  Flopped a set of jacks on a J Q K board.  The jackass 34/10/13 player somehow flops the nut set holding A 10 off after 3 betting pre.  Just only on this god damn bullshit site.  THERE GOES ANY CHANCE of profiting tonight.  This is why I don’t’ win online.  Get me to AC.  Completely demolished by terrible player flopping his miracle un god-damn real. 

TABLE 6 TWO OUTERED ON THE FUCKING RIVER MINUS 60 more dollars.  What else can go wrong in the span of 5 seconds?

QQ < 77 all in on the fucking flop.  River seven.

THANKS HI IT’S COOL I WAS JUST HERE FOR THE TWO OUTER BEAT-DOWN ON THE RIVER!

I’M now down over $100 (more than 2 buy ins) in 30 minutes without making a mistake.  Anyone else in the universe is up $100 + at this point, story of my life.

I’m not sure how much more this I can take tonight.  Not tiliting or anything just absolutely nothing I can do to avoid getting screwed.

Go ahead keep it up stars.  This time when the bankroll goes down because I get two-outered 50 times in a row on a full ring cash game there is no way in fucking hell you are getting another dime from me.  Fuck your Supernova, fuck your cash bonus, and fuck your site.  I’ll grind up live, withdraw everything and take my online business elsewhere thanks.   

2:30 a.m (30 minutes after the flip out)

Really not much to report here, the tables aren’t great but I’m constantly trying to find the best ones available.

I’m also brutally tired right now.  The 5 hour energy did not work, I’m guessing my body is completely immune to them by now.

3:10 a.m

Just doubled and won a $100 pot on table 5.  Picked off a $25 river shove correctly with an overpair.  Yeah his draw missed.  I had his range narrowed correctly the entire street, and the river shove just instantly confirmed everything.

3:50 a.m

Still down just under a buy-in.  This entire session has been an attempt to work my way back from the train-wreck first 30 minutes.  I love how every $40 coin-flip pot with a short-stacker I lose.  Don’t even get me started what a joke.

Not feeling as tired at least, I’ve sort of mellowed into a state of stability.  But now I’m hungry of course!

4:05 a.m

Just doubled on table 1 to $100.  Got in with a 72/22/25 psycho who jammed my 3-bet all in preflop.  AKs > 99 no choice there.

HEY THERE’S A HAND I USUALLY DON’T WIN.

Just took his last $35 winning another $70 pot.  This time playing TT and calling down his final river psycho shove, despite two jacks being on the board.  He showed missed K9, king high.  I’m absolutely forced to make a play on his range there despite the jacks showing.  You can’t hide from your range you son of a bitch!

Taking a quick break when the blinds hit.  That was 3 hours.  Don’t think I’m quite ready to sleep yet, would like to get in another hour and try to find some crazies.  I feel I’m playing decent poker right now.

Break at 4:20

Officially finished that session up +$30, about half a buy in.  At least I was able to fight back from a rough start.

4:30 a.m

Back again and have 12 tables up going strong.  If I make one stupid play I’m logging out for the night, that’s a promise.  Let’s earn the right to play here.

4:40 a.m

-$40 pot table 10  99 < JJ all against a clone short-stacker over a blind war.  The usual.  Of course he has JJ when he’s stealing 35% from that position.  Must be nice!

5:10 a.m

Nice -$100 pot lost against a 60/23/18 psycho.  Stars decides to let his 49 strike gold and flop trip 4’s against my overpair 88 whatever.  I’m pretty much fucking fed up.  He could have just as easily had any missed draw or air.

Calling an end to this miserable night at 5:30

-$80 on table 8.  Another ridiculous turned straight against my set.  What a god awful mistake it was logging back on.  If anyone’s being aggressive in any given situation it’s the complete nuts 100% of the time just sick.

- $80 ANOTHER POT LOST.   This time a spaz-clown catches trip 3’s against over-pair QQ on the flop.   Any two like cards on the board they instantly have the trips, the sickest thing I’ve ever seen.  Can’t lay it down either on these dreadful 20-50 BB tables.

So in the span of an hour every 50/30 player in the universe is going to catch lighting in a bottle against whatever over-pair or whatever.  Play 59 suited with raises pre and hit.  Hit the miracle with 3 10 off suit, play TJ and nail that straight against the set, whatever it’s pokerstars right.  Can’t actually take any of this seriously

So instead of finishing the final 3 hours up half a buy in I’m down -$145 in 4 hours.  What a disgusting night.  I can’t wait to get away from online as much as possible. 

Down -$370 in 7 hours tonight; disgusting.  It couldn’t have gone any worse.  At this rate my online bankroll will run out before I clear the nova bonus and good riddance.  I have no intention of depositing in this b.s site again.  I’d rather put the +$600 live instead of pissing it away to 50/30 players catching miracles all night.  Then they deposit it into the Supernova elite accounts.  I couldn’t be more pissed off right now. 

Hours: 7

Net Loss:  -$370

Online roll:  $3,438

Buy ins remaining:  68

Pending bonus:  $1,500 (only 1,500 of 10,500 VPPs cleared)

Pokerstars:  The only place in the world where I don’t feel comfortable with 68 buy-ins.

-bag