Sunday, September 23, 2012 at 7:19AM 2/5 is the corporate of live poker
It's always wise for one to phase out of corporate if considering long-term life quality.
Just a thought....
Mid-stakes is where one grinds...
High stakes is where one first begins their journey to build...
Monday, September 17, 2012 at 4:16AM I know I've been terrible with positing recently, so you're going to get a long one!
Good news and bad news here:
BN: I played 7 hours of poker last week
GN: I won $1200
BN: Last week I spontaneously mentally lapsed and stopped playing poker for no reason. I don’t ever remember a lapse this extreme.
GN: I got laid for the first time in over a month. I don’t seem to have a problem getting laid when I’m at my hometown or even on vacation. But around AC it’s developed into a recurring issue for me. Probably because I only hit on girls and meet new people when I go out to clubs, everyone out here is pretty much visiting, oh and I’ve only been going out like once every two weeks, so yeah pretty stupid. That’s what a two night window in the past month to get laid? Holy shit I had better odds in corporate.
My hours logged for the past 6 weeks are:
Week one (30), week two (30), week three (39), week four (35), week five (40), and week six (7).
Therefore, I was staying pretty focused until last week. And I actually worked really hard during the 30 hour weeks. Scouting different shifts at the casino and ruining my schedule for the game isn’t included in the raw hours.
I’m concerned about what happened last week. It pretty much started when I found out my ex (from hometown) is now married (I hate you so much Facebook). I’d been in the longest relationship of my life with that girl, and we almost got married. Hell we probably would have got married if I didn’t transition into playing poker full time. Which is fine, I’ve accepted it, but this still had me a little crazy.
It had me pretty psychotic for at least two days. Well not psychotic, it just mentally ruined me for a short period of time. I couldn’t even think about playing. All I could think about was doing anything but poker, mostly going out. I recognized this so I didn’t play; I knew I would have just hemorrhaged money on any stakes. Don't ask me how it went from winning over 4k in a week, to "fuck it" the very next week.
Then I just completely lost focused. Two days later I met up with a girl I used to see in AC. Then I went out really hard and partied Wednesday night. Then I went out Friday night and destroyed my schedule. After partying a stupid amount I ended up hanging out with a girl I met until 10:30 a.m the next day (Friday into Saturday morning). This resulted in me feeling so bad Saturday that I couldn’t even play poker. All I remember about Saturday is waking up around 5p.m and stumbling over half a bottle of champagne that I had apparently left in my closet from the “night” before. I felt horrible, hung-over and tired. I couldn’t nap it off. So I just played video games a few hours and slept. I woke up Sunday and felt just as bad.
I forced walking into the casino on Sunday for no reason other than "it's my job and it's what I'm supposed to do." I played an hour and left.
I felt mentally depleted and physically drained. I also wanted to kill half the regulars at the table for no reason, after being there 30 minutes, which felt like 3 hours. As soon as I sat for the first time in 3 nights I was greeted by a middle aged Asian lady regular who looks like she got clubbed in the face with a shovel saying "I WANT THAT SEAT." She's probably developed into my "top 5 most annoying regulars to actually look at" category. She probably plays 60 hours per weeks somehow on 5/10. I mean that is what you have to do when your long-term win-rate is around $5 per hour.
Thinking back on the 30 minutes I also specifically remember one middle aged white women who sat down on the 5/10 table I was occupying, equipped with stupid ass sun-glasses and an ipad. Clearly some waste of life full blown retard in town for the tournaments. Hell yeah girl, better rock out those 5/10's and grind out $15 per hour. No fuck actually dropping stakes and learning how to play the game. Has your vagina been touched during the past 5 years? She just looked like such a fucking clown I couldn't stand it. I just remember thinking: "how am I this unlucky? What do you mean? Well to even be fucking born in the year 1985. To take a path where here I am, forced to sit next to this idiot while doing my job. How did it come to this? There really is no hope for me is there? And what the hell is wrong with that Asian lady? Was she hit in the face with a shovel recently?"
I have no idea how this upcoming week is going to play out. I'm going to go out on a limb and say probably not great based on my last paragraph. I'll most likely attempt to try and get refocused and log some good high stakes hours. But right now I have no idea where the desire to do so is. I’m almost never like this and it’s not good. I also feel something is wrong with me physically. I'm chronically tired and can't even fix my schedule to attempt a 4 hour session. I'm hoping it's a short-term side affect from being an idiot all last week. I tried to sleep at 12a.m tonight, just laid there and woke up at 3:20 a.m, so I wrote this post. Fml.
-bag
Sunday, September 9, 2012 at 7:23PM The down-swing has ended, I'm not broke, life goes on. I really forgot about the last one until I glanced at my last post.
July and August were two below average months for me. Especially August where I put in almost 150 hours and finished up around $2200 (all of the play at 5/10). But I fought hard, lived below my means and didn't lose any net worth.
This month I've been fighting really hard and have thankfully started off strong. I've been playing almost exclusively 5/10. The strong start should take the pressure off and allow me to stick to my game-plan going forward.
I also have been trying to keep up with studying off the table. I really want to make an effort to learn and transition into PLO some, but the next two weeks isn't a great time to do this with the tournaments going on. Right now I need to keep playing the game I'm best at while high-stakes is more profitable.
-bag
