Confidently Dropping to Mid-Stakes (4/26/2012)

I shipped a full $1200 buy-in within the first 30 minutes of playing 5/10 tonight and lost a $3600 pot.
Bye-bye 5/10 hand:
I isolate $50 on two limpers preflop with 99. Two players flat in with position on me, and both limpers flat. Pot is $250.
Flop Td 8d 4s
I lead $150, meh-AZN reg to my left calls, meh-nit middle aged white reg calls, both limpers fold. Pot is now $550.
Turn 9d
Clearly the bingo card, hard for me not to like. The open ended flop straight draws have both missed (J9 and 79). I do have two nines in my hand so these hands are a little less likely. Gut-shots JQ and 76 might have got there. I'm really discounting the gut-shots because both players are regulars. I don't think they are bad enough to call with a gut-shot on the flop when I'm leading and around 100 BB effective. These are 5/10 pros right? Ok maybe the Asian might call with a gut-shot here, but the middle aged white guy pro, no way in hell.....
I lead turn $375. Meh-azn who hasn't been laid in at least 5 years shoves. Middle aged white guy does a little acting like a retard and over-shove. As soon as this nit over-shoved I knew he probably hit the gut-shot. He's a complete nit post-flop and never puts in with less than a set here. I now have only $600 left and obviously have to call $600 to win $3600. Even if he showed me QJ face up I'm low 20% to boat up on the river.
River 7
Assclown middle aged reg who hasn't showered in over a year turns over QJ and holds.
HE HASN'T SHOWER IN A YEAR BUT HOLY SHIT DOES THIS IDIOT RUN LIKE GOD EACH AND EVERY WEEK.
SICK CALL ON THE FLOP TO BINK A GUT-SHOT.... wait I had two nines in my hand so you called $150 on the flop against a now less than 100BB stack with two outs, AND YOU STILL HIT.
CONGRATULATIONS SIR!
And after that I went back down to 2/5 and grinded $255 in 5 shitty hours. That's really about all I can take for now. The last two days I've been stacked getting in with horrific set-up hands. Both times against regulars making a really bad call on at least one street to luck-box. Both times I would have had to get the money in even if the cards were face up because of my equity. Both times I obviously brick. I hate to bitch, but in my live poker career, I feel like I'm about 0 for 15 when I need to fill up to a full house in ridiculous huge-pot situations.
So on the month I'm now only up just over 2k. I played 5/10 65 hours, only up about 1,200 (a buy-in weeee). If I'm going to run like this I might as well drop to mid-stakes and run like total shit there for the remainder of the month (which I intend to do). I wanted to finish the month at least up 2k so I could pay off a big credit card bill and rent. In 6 hours of 5/10 this week I've lost a 6k in pots combined. That's almost a years rent in two pots (LOL).
Right now I need a break from the swings. My original plan was to aggressively take shots in 5/10 games until my bankroll dropped just below 30k. But with my bankroll at now 35k I just don't even feel comfortable losing a few more pots like that. It has already started to affect my play at high stakes, you miss a barrel here, or a delayed cbet multi-way here. Then you aren't playing your A game, then you're absolutely fucked because you need to be playing your A game when you're "taking a shot" in the biggest games you've ever played in.
I think my plan now is to grind 2/5 until I can get my roll just over 40k. This is a bankroll level I feel more comfortable stepping into 5/10 with. I know it's only 5 more k or so, but it makes a big difference in my mind. It just disgusts me to think about dropping my roll below 30k because I can't run normal playing 5/10. I'm not going to let it happen, and I've officially pulled the plug tonight. I REFUSE to endanger my roll to a point where it drops below 30k. If I play 2/5 and lose TEN buy-ins playing which drops the roll below 30k then fine so be it. But losing 5 buy-ins at 5/10 seems a LOT more feasible right now, so I'm just ending the shot right now.
So was the stress worth it?
Yes absolutely.
I stepped up to 5/10 and held my own. I actually won over a buy-in during 65 hours of play. I know I have the skill to beat 5/10 at the moment. It's all about building my roll to a level where I'm 100% comfortable facing the beast that is 5/10. I can't lose two enormous pots in 6 hours and be messed up over it.
And this has actually provided great motivation to put in the hours and grind 2/5 with a new found purpose. The purpose of 2/5 is to build my roll, and eventually return to 5/10 even stronger. No longer am I grinding away with the only motivation of reaching an arbitrary number (aka 100 BIs or 80 BIs). And with the taste of 5/10 bagliife is hungry for more. But why the fuck is he still awake at 5:30 a.m typing this? And why hasn't he worked out in over a week? And how did he make out with a girl an hour at the club Tuesday night, only to have her NOT TEXT HIM BACK? That is an absolute first. I must say I have never made out with a girl for over an hour that I just met and have her not RESPOND. I feel this is only possible in New Jersey. You can meet a hot girl, basically fuck her in a club, but next day no response. I wanted to watch a movie or something GOOD LORD im not a terrible person I swear!
Anyways, the 5/10 regulars better hope I run like shit at 2/5 for a long time. When I come back it's war. And you may all know each-other, but I have friends as well. And the next time I take a shot they sure as hell will be in town and I'll have notes on all of you mother fuckers. So keep buddy-buddying and I'll buddy-buddy with my own crew. Not that I need to form alliances to take on shit poker players that play like shit and win thousands daily doing nothing. Just the small increase in bankroll, it's the only thing separating a player like me who is knocking at the door, ready to jump in, fuck up your party, and carve up your fish. Peace the fuck out.
-bag