Baglife Inc. Update (11/29/2012)

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Grueling Sunday Session (11/26/2012)

I ended up playing a 12 hour session on Sunday.  My efforts yielded a net profit of +$120.  I stayed the majority of the session because I felt like it (as opposed to forcing myself), which is promising.  At 7a.m I decided it just wasn't my night.

I was happy with my play for the most part.  There was a big hand where I got outplayed by a aggro-fish who made a bizarre all-in bluff at about 200BBs deep against my double barrel 3-way.  I have to give him credit, it was a nice play, I couldn't call.  That was my chance to double through and book a decent win.  I don't feel like typing out the hand, it's justified in my head and irrelevant at this point, best to let it go.  Just one reoccuring problem after another for the past two months.

Normally I wouldn't stay past 8 hours without some sort of great image and decent profit, but I felt the need to make an exception because the game was really good.  I paid the price today, the session left  me unproductive on Monday.  I'm not really happy with myself for staying past 5a.m.  One of the reasons I dropped to mid-stakes was so I don't have to endure this sort of abuse.  On a live mid-stakes game it's almost never worth it to seriously screw up your schedule.  I know this, I've made the mistake more times than I can count during my poker career.  But apparantly I like to just completely ignore what I've learned. 

THAT'S RIGHT, repeating the same foolish course of action expecting different results!  WHAT NOW?

-bag

Trying To Motivate Myself (11/25/2012)

I've been brain-storming tonight, trying to think of a way to motivate myself. 

I just returned from Thanksgiving break.  I haven't played in 6 nights and still have no desire to grind.  I literally forced myself to come back to AC area.  My poker situation is somewhat code-red at the moment.  I don't remember the last time I've taken off so long with no desire to return to the grind.  It's definitely not a good time.  It seems the last big trip and simultaneous down swing has really took something out of me.

Also the prospect of returning to mid-stakes after playing high stakes for the past 4.5 months is humbling, but I still think it’s necessary at this time.

I wanted to write out some daily targets out for the upcoming week, since I feel very unmotivated and still somewhat down in general.  I’m trying to think of something that would motivate me at this time.  Getting laid by a hot girl would be nice (one thing I miss about Asia), that’s about all I can think of, or maybe having a night out getting drunk with friends.  Sounds like a club night?  So here’s the deal.  If I hit all of my targets for the upcoming week I can take a reward of a full blowout club night redeemable at any time.  Yes anytime, that includes Friday, Saturday, or whenever. 

Then again I think it’s fine to take a club night per week in general (if I'm in the mood), but not more than one.  So yeah this would be an extra party night for hitting my targets.

Actually, I'm having trouble thinking about a reward I would actually want and value?  The club night would be cool, but I'm not sure I should be restricting myself of that in general.  Ok here is the reward: a "baglife token".  this token can be redeemed for things such as:

- extra club night

- concert ticket

- vacation night

- vandalize something

-whore house

- unnecessary shopping purchase

These are just a few examples of the great rewards I can earn redeeming baglife tokens.

So these earned tokens will allow me to treat myself in a position where I would have previously said: "no you shouldn't you should really stay focused for reason X."

The tokens are my only escape!

Yes I actually think this idea has potential.  So if I hit all my targets for a week I get one baglife token.

I'm going to actually update the token hunt weekly.  I created a separate section on this website for this:

Motivation Project (Baglife Tokens)

This way if you think it's a really stupid idea and don't give a shit that's fine you don't have to follow it.  I also want to keep it categorized separately since I plan to be updating this at least twice per week.  The separate section will keep the main journal from getting flooded.

Here are my targets for the upcoming week

-bag

Struggling With Moving Down (11/19/2012)

My drop to 2/5 has started off with my nuts getting kicked in as usual.  I started up on Saturday +$925.  I followed up Sunday Monday down -$1270.  Monday I lost close to $900 in 4.5 hours.  I got stacked for $500 on a mega set up hand I'm never folding.  The other -$400 occured as I literally lost every hand I played.  I'm not playing bad, but not my A-game. 

I've realized I'm somewhat out of touch with playing 2/5.  So basically I don't really fit in anywhere right now.  I have to get used to basically toning it down to the core and playing a 90%+ all value straight-forward game.  Beating 2/5 for a decent win-rate is extremely boring for me compared to 5/10 at times.  There's no stress financially, but there is a good amount of agnoizing boredom, anger, and depression that can easily build up with 2/5 (which I'm already feeling somewhat).  I guess it's either grind out emotionally crushed at 2/5, or have a heart attack playing 5/10.

I have to find a way to really dig down and grind out a few solid months on mid-stakes.  I'm going home for Thanksgiving so I'm planning to take at least 5 nights completely away from playing poker.

When I come back I also want to try to focus on a different casino a few nights a week that only has 2/5 running.  I think this will really help me personally.  It puts me on tilt seeing the 5/10 regulars strolling around.  And it's very hard for me not to check the 5/10 games.  I think it would be good to be in an environment with just no 5/10 and all. 

Don't really feel like typing anymore.  I feel quite defeated and disgusted at the moment.   

Tactically Retreating to Mid-Stakes (11/19/2012)

It's been a state of general confusion and reflection for me since I've returned to the states.

First off I ended up getting smashed in China, nothing got better.  Going into the trip I had won 11 months in a row.  For the trip I was down about 8k on the tables, and the trip expenses were around 6k.  8k really isn't a massive amount for the stakes I was playing.  I was playing a game that was about 1.5x bigger than comparable 5/10.  The games were softer than 5/10's at home for the most part, but I couldn't log a big session, for like 220 hours somehow.  I picked a great time to run "nut-worst."

Before I left for the trip I was actually in a great position to stabilize and grind out 5/10.  My bankroll was over 50k.  Now It's back to around 40k.  I'm now one down-swing away on highstakes from being really miserable and even more stressed.  I thought the trip was a really good idea, and my best chance to win the most amount of money the highest percentage of the time for October-November.  Ok I was wrong.  Not only was I wrong, it was by biggest money management failure as a pro.  I foolishly jeopardized my ability to continue playing high stakes comfortably when I returned.  Now I'm going to have to adjust my outlook going forward and pay the price.  Hopefully one day I can recover and learn from my mistake.

I've decided to drop to 2/5 fully for the first time since July 2012.  I'm not sure how long I'm going to stay on 2/5.  Probably at least until my BR returns to around 50k.  I've already logged two full 2/5 sessions for a combined uneventful +$550 in 16 hours.  I will say the financial stress of 2/5 is non-existent for me at this point.

There are two major factors that made me decide to tactically drop back to mid-stakes.  The first factor was my win-rate analysis.  The second factor was my life analysis.

Win-rate Analysis.

Since I've been home I've spent a lot of time analyzing my recent career win-rate at 2/5 and 5/10.  I began taking shots at 5/10 in late March of 2012.  Since that time I have logged 466 hours at 5/10 for a rate of $31 per hour.  In comparison, I've logged 948 hours at 2/5 since October 2011 at $34 per hour.

It would seem ridiculous that I'm four times more stressed out playing high stakes and earning a rate of $3 less per hour.  There are many factors that could explain why my 5/10 win-rate has been less than mid-stakes overall including: small sample size, the stress of high stakes, taking time to make strategic adjustments to high stakes, skill advantage being lower, skill advantage being lower, not playing A-game as much, and schedule being really screwed up.

The $31 per hour at 5/10 mentioned above includes my very first 5/10 jump.  During this time (3/29/2012- 4/25/2012) I logged 112 hours at $8.75 per hour before dropping back to 2/5.

During my second jump the numbers showed signs of progress and improvement.  From 6/19/2012- 9/26/2012 I logged 354 hours of 5/10 at $38 per hour.  This is probably the more accurate sample size.  Still, even at $38 per hour that's only $4 per hour more than I made at 2/5 and it's a much more stressful life.

If I had a huge bankroll I'd still grind 5/10 at this moment, even with the recent China disaster.  Why?  I pretty much had stabalized.  I was showing signs of win-rate improvement and there was clear and reachable potential to get to around $50 per hour playing 5/10.  $50 per hour would equate to a decent life at least financially.

But the odd thing is that with my current bankroll I should still be able to win nearly the same thing grinding 2/5 with almost no stress.  I can also log more hours of 2/5 than at 5/10 because there are much more softer games to choose from.  With 5/10 I have to constantly leave tables.  2/5 I could play 8 hours of profitable poker no problem during peak times.  With 5/10, not so much. 

Life Analysis

Since I started jumping back and forth to 5/10 since March 2012 my life has been incredibly stressful.  Honestly after the nightmare trip I need a break from the burn.  I want a month or two where I'm less stressed out.  I'm fine averaging 4k a month playing 2/5 right now, fuck the money seriously.  My goal is obviously to stay at 5/10, but I think it makes sense for me to drop right now. 

Even away from poker I want to have a more normal life for at least a month or two.  I want to be able to go out a night or two when I want per week.  I want to be able to actually take a girl out on a Friday night if I want to.  Yes fuck playing poker every Friday night, sometimes other things can take priority.

New Strategy:  All 2/5, while eventually mixing in extremely selective 5/10 shots.

When to play 5/10, why I am droping to 2/5, and thoughts in no order of priority?

1)  If a known whale is playing 5/10, fine play it.

2)  I want myself in the best position to succeed long-term and I don't think 5/10 is the answer right now.  If I get smashed for 7k more I'm already in for a stressful road ahead.

3)  To eliminate the chronic stress and work on my game.

4)  To be more physically active and healthy.  Don't let poker fuck up your physical health.

5)  To have a normal social life again (at least for a month or two).

6)  When I'm up over 5k on a month it's an excellent time and reason to take a 5/10 shot.  Keeps the motivation up as well.

7)  This is my business, everything I have.  I have one poker bankroll, I only get one shot at this.  Businesses don't take un-necessary risks without evidence.  I made this mistake one time and got fucked for it, never again.

8)  I can improve my game at 2/5 and take every possible spot.  I might even end up winning close to $40 per hour at mid-stakes.

9)  So I can take additional time to study off the table.

10)  So I can take additional time to study and transition to PLO.