Updates, Bad Relationship, and Goals (8/23/2013)

I can't actually explain why I haven't posted in so long.  I've been incredibly busy and my life has been all over the place.  For some reason I lost my drive to update.

I've still been grinding 2/5 and trying to transition online unsuccessful.  The online transition has been unsuccessful because I simply just haven't had enough time to commit.  However, I feel my online experience is really helping me improve as a player.

My life has been dominated my some pretty big stressors the past three months.  One of them has been moving to a new state.  The other has been a new girlfriend, which has now become a completely dysfunctional relationship.  It's gone on for about three months now, but last week it became so bad I insisted we take a BREAK, yes a break after three months haha.

The relationship started off really fun the first month, then it started adding negative to my life weekly, it just took me a while to accept it.  So I started tracking the effects the relationship was having on my emotions daily starting at the beginning of August.  I would track my emotional scale "1-10".  A rating of "5" would indicate neutral.  If it was a '5' for the day, that meant the girlfriend was added nothing for the day, no net positive or negative.  

I was a nice grader.  Even if she added nothing on a given day, I'd most likely give her a +1, because it's good having someone there to talk to (I guess), and hell at least the sex is amazing.

But if we got in a big fight obviously it would become something like a -3 for the day.  Yes if she got mad about some retarded b.s that doesn't even make sense and it led to a huge fight, that's going to be at least -3.  Because if she wasn't in my life it would be 0 neutral for the day.

Anyways, mid-way through August she was at a net of -27, so that was all the sample size I needed.  Yes minus twenty fucking seven, I can't actually make this shit up.  After the last twilight zone bull-shit arugment/fight that screwed up my day, I decided I wasn't hanging out with her during the upcoming weekend.  As soon as she sensed I was fed up her personality changed 100%, it was the most logical and sane she had been in over 2 months.  If she acted anything like she did during the past 8 weeks it would have been easy to break it off, but instead I ended up pussying out and just going on a break.  I've decided I'm going to give her one more chance to act like a normal human being, but the amount of time we hang out is going to be VERY reduced at first, like once per week.  My gut is that 90% this relationship is doomed anyway, but whatever, let's see her miraculous change she promised!

Going forward I'm going to try to play 25-30 hours per week live, while committing the rest of the time online.  This doesn't leave for enough time online, but it should get better when I relocate and I'm actually close to where I'm going to be playing live.  Rather than commuting and staying out of hotels every week.