Pushing to Save the Month (5/28/2012)

In an effort to save the month I put in 22 hours of play this weekend, up $2250.  All of the winnings basically came from a 8.5 hour session Friday where I finished up +$2090.  The 13.5 hours played on Saturday and Sunday combined resulted in a mere +$160.  I really liked the way I played.  I wish the wins were more consistent and steady, but it doesn't always work out that way, you obviously can't control the immediate short-term when it comes to live poker.

If I ended the month now it would be enough to pay all bills/expenses and add a fractional amount to my bankroll.  This isn't bad considering I was down -$1300 in the first 60 hours.  Also considering, I've only logged 102 hours total, there was a week vacation in May.  So I should feel fortunate. 

I've logged sessions the last 5 nights in a row, so I'm taking the next two days off. 

I'm trying to set myself up to put in solid volume for June.  This means working out more, keeping a schedule, being healthier, binge drinking less, and just increasing my dedication to the grind.  The next real break I take needs to be EARNED or I simply won't feel right taking it.

-bag

Brutal May (5/25/2012)

I'm doing everything in my power to try to stay disciplined, to stay focused, to not make mistakes, to not get angry....

but nothing is changing.

It would be an absolute miracle if I finished with profit this month. 

I'm currently up $150 in the first 80 hours of play.  This is a month where I can't win unless I don't go to show-down.  No change this week.  Grind 6 hours Wednesday in average at best games, only to pick up ONE value spot the entire session, where I get all in, 3 outted on the river for an $1100 pot.  There goes that night.

Pretty much same pattern Thursday.  I pick up ONE value hand in 5.5 hours and lose AA all in pre vs 88.  You know the fucking 8 is coming.  At least I binked a $10 win tonight.  Pretty nice hourly...

I didn't want to give up this month without a fight, at least I have a weekend coming up.  Maybe I can find one decent game during a holiday weekend where I can at least put an 8 hour session.  If not I should seriously consider moving out.  The games can't get any worse that's for sure.  Out of nowhere Mondays and Wednesdays have turned into an absolute joke.  Thursdays hit or miss.  meh Fml...  Hoping to put in at least 30 more hours this month, I mean if the games are even there to play.  I'm at least in a mind-set where I generally refuse to force play in shitty games.

-bag

Updates (5/22/2012)

It's been quite a slow month for me. 

I pretty much took a week off and I just haven't been playing a lot.  I'm also running very bad in addition to not playing enough.  I went into Saturday's session down $1300 on the month, but I made it all back so I'm probably up a mere $500 on the month.  I felt good playing on Thursday and Saturday, then I got sick.  So set back AGAIN.

I'm going to really push to play hard and put in the volume the last 9 days of this month.  Even if I get 40 more hours in it would still be my lowest volume month as a pro.  I'm hoping to log at least 100 hours, I'm only at 70 right now.

I had a strech where I really wasn't happy playing.  Now I feel like my mind is in the right place and I'm ready to grind.  The games have been good enough, and I'm working on my mind-set again.  At one point my mind-set was in a good place, but it has REALLY slipped off during the past month or so.

Before when I went into sessions it was:

1)  Play mistake free

2)  Whatever other specific areas I'm working on at the time.

Now It's:

1)  Play mistake free

2)  DON'T GET ANGRY

3)  Whatever else

Yes I've been getting angry WAAAYYY to much.  Little things bother me that shouldn't.  Other regulars tilt me by just seeing their stupid faces.  These kinds of things causing me to get angry is unacceptable.  So I guess my main goals going forward are putting in clean solid volume while not getting angry.  If I get super angry during a session I've failed my target for the day.  I realize my mind-set is an area that needs improvement right now.

Also my bankroll is awfully close to 40k.  If I can get over 40k and stabalize I would consider that a milestone.  I'd also feel comfortable taking 5/10 shots even in the low 40k range.  If I bust my ass the next three weeks and string something together I might take 5/10 shots during tournament time.  This is a nice motivation piece.

-bag 

Taking A Break (5/12/2012)

The last poker session I played was Wednesday.  I think I'm down about -$200 on the month total, basically in a break even stretch in around 40 hours.

I don't plan to play again until Thursday the 17th.  I've decided to take a full week off from poker.  I'm almost certain I haven't taken this much time off since I went pro over a year and a half ago.

Several factors made me decide on a break.  It was a logical time, I had some family obligations in NY, and my birthday is very soon.  I wasn't going to do anything for my birthday really, but I decided to force myself to take a week from poker.  Also, the games have really sucked the past week and a half and I wasn't having fun trying to pull teeth to find a shitty mid-stakes game.  I'm also getting tired of seeing the same stupid ass regulars, if I didn't get out of there I was going to take a chair to one of them.  I feel like I would benefit from a break.  I've been talking about doing it the past two months, but now seems like a good time to do it.  I'm just going to do whatever I feel like during this time.  I'm also going to attempt to reflect on poker and life.   

I'm out of town in Manhattan right now enjoying this beautiful Saturday.

Hopefully when I return to the tables I'll be thirsty to grind mid-stakes.  If not I'll probably force the volume.  If I really feel like I'm forcing the volume it might be a sign to transition towards some life changes.

-bag

Slow Start to May (5/8/2012)

May has started off break even in 32 hours for me.

Not a big sample size, but I've ran really bad two nights which pretty much ruined any chance of profit so far.  The games have also been incredibly dry the past week.  Incredibly frustrating, like pulling teeth to find an average 2/5 game, even on weekends.  It's like the entire city is DEAD, no idea what's going on.

Not really much to update right now.  Going out of town two days this week.  Whenever I go out of town it's like I try to mass volumes on dead nights before I leave and get smashed.  This is something to keep an eye on.

After the small upswing I'm feeling bored with 2/5 again.  But part of that has been because the games have just been such a joke.  This might be a sign to leave town for a few nights to play elsewhere sometime this month.

Something I've really been trying to work on this month is my ATTITUDE.  My attitude hasn't been great the past few months.  Live poker takes it's toll, but I'm beginning to think having a positive attitude is important.  That doesn't mean: "I'm going to pretty much win every session, smooth sailing from here."

More along the lines of, playing live poker for a living is incredibly difficult.  Most people can't do it.  Therefore, I should have more respect for what I'm doing.  It's a privilege to be able to do it.  Sometimes I think it would be good for me to work my old corporate job a single week to remember what it feels like.  I guarantee I'd be out of there by day three.

Yes grinding 2/5 isn't the most rewarding thing, especially when I feel like I can beat 5/10.  But it is I who decided to be extra conservative right now.  2/5 has it's purpose and I need to respect it for the good and the bad.

-bag