Getting Smashed (12/13/2012)

Feels great?

I’ve been losing at a disturbing rate even on 2/5.  Part of the problem is I haven’t even logged 100 hours since I’ve been home.

Right now I’m down close to 2k in the past 9 hours, that has to be somewhat of a record for me at these stakes.  I’m not broke because I stop loss myself at 1k when playing 2/5.  I don’t ever remember bs like this going down.  Oh wait, in China for 6 weeks straight?  Oh yeah…  Never-mind this shit happens a lot.  I guess what I meant is it hasn’t happened in a while specifically on mid-stakes.

Last night I got all in 3-way on the flop with a top set and lost a $1500 pot.  Tonight I took another -$1100 pot suck-out getting two outered.

And outside of the big pots I lose and never get back, the games have just not been good enough in general (except maybe the weekends).  I thought financially 2/5 would be less stressful, but it’s actually been just as stressful for me.  It’s normally not going to be as big as losses, but when you take big losses and run super-bad it feels almost impossible to get back (aka right now).  Also the games are shallower, so 100BB stacks can get swingy.  And when you can’t win with 90% equity I guess all of your win-rate comes from bluffing.  So you don’t mind non-showdowns, but mid-stakes has so many show-downs; it’s volatile.  So yah life just sucks in every way possible for me right now.

I’m not sure what to say really, I hate poker right now that’s for sure.  I’m also not sure how long I can take feeling like this in the long run.  I just don’t like not being able to control when I feel like shit, when the next doom-switch is going to come.  And here I am over 2 years as a pro, taking a 2 BI downswing on mid-stakes and walking out of the casino enraged, nearly punching a wall.  

Maybe my run as a pro is coming to an end.  I went to China and lost in some of the softest high stakes games in the world.  Now I come back home and can’t win a 2/5 session, can’t go a fucking bull-shit mid-stakes session without hitting a 1k stop-loss against 0 threat players.  I’m also not logging enough hours and don’t feel the burn too.  I need to either find a way to get my shit together or start transitioning out.  I said I’d give it 3 years, but things are looking quite bad.

-bag