In China (11/6/2012)
Monday, November 5, 2012 at 6:22AM I've been in China for over a month now. Been crashing on high stakes out here. October was the first net losing month on the tables I've had in 11 months. 12th month is not a charm. I haven't given up for several reasons but it's gotten pretty bad. I'll probably end up returning home with just over 40k to grind 5/10. So I saved my run bad for the biggest games I've ever played.
I'm trying to not let poker ruin this trip for me. I love China. Much of my reasoning for extending the trip so long hand nothing to do with poker. I'm having a lot of fun when I'm not losing on the tables. It's been a great experience. The girls and city are amazing.
What has happened with poker out here has left a very bitter taste in my mouth. Bitter to a point where I don't know how much longer I can actually play live poker for a living. I said I'd give it three years, so that means I have about 11 more months "mandatory". When I get home I definitely need to take a break and seriously look at things going forward. I've given a lot of my life to the game and don't feel like I have enough to show for it. Then I run horribly in the worst possible situation for over a month. It's been a complete nightmare. And I realize I'm the fucking idiot. I'm playing a game that has horrendous short term luck for a living, and expecting average results when I go on the most important trip of my life. Of course everything goes to shit. I've never hated the game this much.
-bag
Reader Comments (3)
Never underestimate the actual price or value of the freedom you have earned for yourself. Remember what the corporate grind was like. Take a few days off to reflect on what you really want before making a big decision. Good luck.
Lucypher,
I'm more free than corporate, but not actually free. I'm still forced to play the game 30 hours+ per week, even when things are going miserably. I'm not in a great state of mind to evaluate what I want right now. This trip has been a complete failure. I was looking forward to this for a year. The downs of poker seem to hit me harder each time.
Maybe you should consider a meta-game selection decision. You seem to be a solid player. Why not go where the games are better, if not best? Since Atlantic City isn't working for you, why not try Las Vegas? More fish come and go at the many, many tables in Vegas everyday than (probably) anywhere else. Don't give up yet. You escaped from the wage slavery of a corporate hell once, but you might not make it back out a second time.