Weekly Goals: How Did I Do? (7.19.2010)
Monday, July 19, 2010 at 2:10AM Put in 9 more hours today. The last 6 hours things stabilized somewhat and I only lost -$48 total, only -$8 the last 3 hours. Have no idea how I had the confidence to even return after the nightmare Saturday where I border-line lost my mind. This was a very bad weekend on the tables, the most disappointing loss wise so far. Below are the goals I wanted to accomplish from 7/12-7/19:
(By the start of next Monday I would have liked to:)
1) Completed all 5 days at the day job last week. Just do it, just another check for future plans.
CHECK, ALL 5 OF EM!
2) Worked out at least twice in addition to tennis.
Check. Played tennis once and worked out twice. Even know the work-out Saturday was pretty lame, still counts.
3) Cleared at least 5,000 more VPPs.
Almost. Cleared 4,800. However, I put in more time studying so I'm fine with that. Too bad I still lost over $700. All the hard work doesn't always pay off.
4) Looked at rent prices in Brigantine during the week. Get a feel for the cost.
Check here. I spent a good amount of time doing this and have a good feel for the cost. I'm planning on making a trip to AC and checking out places the last weekend of this month. I'll also be playing some live poker. Oh I've been talking to someone who may be interested in moving to Brigantine and sharing the costs on a rental. He is sort of in the same situation and sounds promising. I'm a little skeptical because he's just turning 21 years old. Apparently he grinded up a few hundred thousand dollars and lost most of it. I'm not sure he sounds alright though. It seems he knows he has to now live modestly and grind up playing full ring again. He pissed most of it away on high stakes, sports betting, etc, etc. I told him I'm checking out places the end of the month and he seems ok with that. However, I'd still have to actually meet him in person to be completely sure.
5) Scheduled a vacation. For the weekend of the 23rd, 30th, or Aug 6th. I need something to look forward to.
This is in the works. I'll figure this out in a few days.
6) Resumed and completed some sweat session studies.
Complete. Put in some great work with some optimal push range analysis. I feel I'm at a very advanced level right now. Even if I'm not hitting certain spots 3-betting preflop, I am seeing situations and knowing what the EV play is. Sometimes I avoid the EV play because of variance.
7) Deposited the next $600 installment online. That will be $1,800 out of the 3,000 total I wanted to get in this month.
Check. That $600 DID NOT last long. Fuck you Saturday night.
8) Not drank or gone out wasting a night. I had enough fun last weekend; it’s time to get focused for a week.
I did a decent job here. I hung out with a friend Thursday night and got hammered, but stayed in the entire weekend, which is tough to do.
9) Come really close to hitting Supernova.
Check. I'm pretty damn close. 98.5% there. I offically need 1,440 more VPPs. Should be able to hit it with about 9 more hours of play.
10) Ran EV for one fucking session during the last week. Just ONE please.
Check. 1 out of 8 sessions I ran EV! Wednesday night I had a session where I ran +EV for 3 hours and won $90. Every other session I ran -EV and lost. So as the average poker player runs positive EV 4 times, and negative EV 4 times, I incredibly continue to run negative 7 out of 8 times.
Despite my massive downswing I did well on hitting my weekly goals. After Saturday it took a lot of discipline to come back and play all day Sunday. Obviously I most likely will not make a list like this every week, but it's not a bad idea when I feel like I'm losing focus. Will update soon.
Oh it's kinda crazy I wrote this sober:
I didn't re-read yet, but I'm sure it's EMO and I beat myself up pretty bad. Most of what I wrote stemmed from: A) running the worst I ever have for 6 hours straight and B) The fact that I wanted to be playing full time for a decent profit by now and I just haven't got there yet online. Then again what I wrote probably has some valid points. This probably could have all been avoided if I just didn't log back on after the first 3 hours of Saturday. It's extremely tough because I set aside certain times and I feel I have to commit them to poker even if things aren't going well. If I put a weekend aside for poker it's hard to just take off after only playing 3 hours on Saturday even know I was really rattled. I just don't have the time to commit solid hours during the week with the day job. Hmm maybe that is a good thing.
-bag
Reader Comments (3)
Bags, ouch - tough weekend. There are no guarantees in poker. As you have noted, one can "get it in" with the best of it and still frequently lose. That's why it's called gambling. However, you also know that over the (very) long haul, things will probably turn around if you continue to play well. So, you should be asking yourself, "Am I playing well? If yes, then take a break and then return to the grind. No one said it would be easy. You knew going in that most don't make it.
However, you also knew yourself, your capabilities, your dreams, and your weaknesses. And, knowing all that, you believed you had a shot. IF you are playing well and IF you still believe you have a shot, then you can't quit now.
You are too close to SuperNova and your "shot" is just around the corner. The world of corporate wage slavery will always be there if you have to go back.
Only a fool doesn't periodically question himself and his course, from time to time.
That alone shows you are not asleep at the wheel. The chicks will be there when you are ready, i.e. have the time and money to spend on them. Your confidence seems a bit low and chicks can sense that. You are working on securing your career righ now. Stay focused on that. When that begins to fall into place, the other stuff will flow right in. Keep your cool. You are your own worst enemy. If you can master yourself, additional success will follow that accomplishment. Good luck.
Leave yourself an exit strategy if you end up living with this kid. He already blew through a ton of cash once and that's pretty tough to do.
That being said if he seems ok this could be a chance to get a lot of poker knowledge living with and sweating someone who managed to win that much.
Lucypher,
Thanks for reading and the input. Indeed it is called gambling. Over the very long haul I know that I will win, how long that is I have no idea. I am questioning how well I’m really playing compared to some of the elite short-stackers at my stakes. Yes I’ve most likely played well enough to break even in a variance free world. However, my stats aren’t at a level where it would have been feasible for me to win at a .3BB/100 - 1BB/100 rate. Perhaps the big pots I lose nightly kill me to a point where I flip out and question my life because I'm most likely not winning enough small pots.
I’m going to discuss most of this in an upcoming post, but every well known regular short-stacker who is consistently beating 100NL has very similar stats. Typically an 11/10.8/5.7 style is standard. Meanwhile, I logged a session coming in last night at 8.6/7.5/4. I played the last few months knowing I was playing tighter than optimal. I thought I could make up for it with superior table selection. Also I’ve been mixing in a hybrid full stack strategy, which makes my stats tighter, especially with 4-betting. But I can’t find one short-stacker with similar stats who solidly beats the game. I found one known short-stack regular with the closest style to what I’m playing right now at: 8.8/6/4.8 lifetime. He’s played over 4 million hands and has a loss rate of -0.16 BB/100. Is that really the life I want to live during the next year or so? The life I want to strive for? I guess 4 million hands proves you can make a decent living doing it, but certainly stressful as hell.
Something tells me I need to re-analyze everything, cut tables, and learn an 11/10.5/6 style. It's either this or get the hell out and switch formats immediately. And I'm strongly considering switching formats. I might drop tables and switch to completely full buy in after I clear the 1,500 VPPs remaining for Supernova. I’m thinking about making this switch for a bunch of reasons, which I will discuss in a post tomorrow sometime.
I believe I have a shot to provide myself with a life-style that is acceptable to me by playing poker full-time, I always have. It’s absolutely possible. However, I’m not sure short-stacking online is the right path. I’m not about to quit poker, but I’m not afraid to completely shift my path/strategy to get myself in the best possible position to succeed. I hate corporate and I will continue to improve my poker game even if it continues to be a war. My confidence with girls isn’t that low. Get a few drinks in me and I'm fine, I have alright success when I go out. I just don’t have the time, so even if I pull a decent number I just fall of the face of the Earth. You’re completely on point, I’m working towards pursuing a career in poker right now (if it’s even possible). If I ever get there I can worry about everything else.
FK,
I think the exit strategy is pretty simple here. We have the landlord provide us with two separate leases for the same place. That way if he defaults we just find another person. My younger brother is in a similar situation in college right now. He lives with about 2 other kids and everyone has a separate lease. You just have to find a landlord who will be cool with it. The fact that he dropped out of college doesn’t concern me much. If I grinded up a few hundred thousand dollars at 20 it would be extremely hard for me to see the purpose of college without strong guidance from a parental figure that I respect. I actually question if a degree in most fields will even be worth it in 5 years, but that's another discussion and I've already typed a book here.
Also the money really doesn’t impress me at all. Besides,he could be full of shit. Even if he is legit, I have no idea how he won that money. Maybe he got lucky playing a few tournaments, any fool could do that. I mean it happens all of the time right? Hopefully it will work out and we can both learn from each-other. I was skeptical about living with another poker player at first, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Who the hell else am I going to live with?
-bag