Put in 9 more hours today. The last 6 hours things stabilized somewhat and I only lost -$48 total, only -$8 the last 3 hours. Have no idea how I had the confidence to even return after the nightmare Saturday where I border-line lost my mind. This was a very bad weekend on the tables, the most disappointing loss wise so far. Below are the goals I wanted to accomplish from 7/12-7/19:
(By the start of next Monday I would have liked to:)
1) Completed all 5 days at the day job last week. Just do it, just another check for future plans.
CHECK, ALL 5 OF EM!
2) Worked out at least twice in addition to tennis.
Check. Played tennis once and worked out twice. Even know the work-out Saturday was pretty lame, still counts.
3) Cleared at least 5,000 more VPPs.
Almost. Cleared 4,800. However, I put in more time studying so I'm fine with that. Too bad I still lost over $700. All the hard work doesn't always pay off.
4) Looked at rent prices in Brigantine during the week. Get a feel for the cost.
Check here. I spent a good amount of time doing this and have a good feel for the cost. I'm planning on making a trip to AC and checking out places the last weekend of this month. I'll also be playing some live poker. Oh I've been talking to someone who may be interested in moving to Brigantine and sharing the costs on a rental. He is sort of in the same situation and sounds promising. I'm a little skeptical because he's just turning 21 years old. Apparently he grinded up a few hundred thousand dollars and lost most of it. I'm not sure he sounds alright though. It seems he knows he has to now live modestly and grind up playing full ring again. He pissed most of it away on high stakes, sports betting, etc, etc. I told him I'm checking out places the end of the month and he seems ok with that. However, I'd still have to actually meet him in person to be completely sure.
5) Scheduled a vacation. For the weekend of the 23rd, 30th, or Aug 6th. I need something to look forward to.
This is in the works. I'll figure this out in a few days.
6) Resumed and completed some sweat session studies.
Complete. Put in some great work with some optimal push range analysis. I feel I'm at a very advanced level right now. Even if I'm not hitting certain spots 3-betting preflop, I am seeing situations and knowing what the EV play is. Sometimes I avoid the EV play because of variance.
7) Deposited the next $600 installment online. That will be $1,800 out of the 3,000 total I wanted to get in this month.
Check. That $600 DID NOT last long. Fuck you Saturday night.
8) Not drank or gone out wasting a night. I had enough fun last weekend; it’s time to get focused for a week.
I did a decent job here. I hung out with a friend Thursday night and got hammered, but stayed in the entire weekend, which is tough to do.
9) Come really close to hitting Supernova.
Check. I'm pretty damn close. 98.5% there. I offically need 1,440 more VPPs. Should be able to hit it with about 9 more hours of play.
10) Ran EV for one fucking session during the last week. Just ONE please.
Check. 1 out of 8 sessions I ran EV! Wednesday night I had a session where I ran +EV for 3 hours and won $90. Every other session I ran -EV and lost. So as the average poker player runs positive EV 4 times, and negative EV 4 times, I incredibly continue to run negative 7 out of 8 times.
Despite my massive downswing I did well on hitting my weekly goals. After Saturday it took a lot of discipline to come back and play all day Sunday. Obviously I most likely will not make a list like this every week, but it's not a bad idea when I feel like I'm losing focus. Will update soon.
Oh it's kinda crazy I wrote this sober:
I didn't re-read yet, but I'm sure it's EMO and I beat myself up pretty bad. Most of what I wrote stemmed from: A) running the worst I ever have for 6 hours straight and B) The fact that I wanted to be playing full time for a decent profit by now and I just haven't got there yet online. Then again what I wrote probably has some valid points. This probably could have all been avoided if I just didn't log back on after the first 3 hours of Saturday. It's extremely tough because I set aside certain times and I feel I have to commit them to poker even if things aren't going well. If I put a weekend aside for poker it's hard to just take off after only playing 3 hours on Saturday even know I was really rattled. I just don't have the time to commit solid hours during the week with the day job. Hmm maybe that is a good thing.
-bag