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After many years of going to school and saying no to drugs I graduated with a degree!  Little did I know it would lead me to being beaten into the ground at the hands of a soulless corporation.  After 3 years I quit to play poker professionally.  I've now been full-time over 7 years, yet revenge is still in the air.  It's crazy to look back and realize I started this blog as I was simply 'pumping myself up' to quit the real world and go full time.  Now I also do some writing for fun as a 'day job' (some freelance and paid, but an insignificant sum compared to 5/10 live) and airbnb my place when I don't feel like playing as much.

Tuesday
Sep212010

Cutting Tables Goal and 3 Hour Session (9/20/2010)

I don't have any psycho commentary tonight, but I did put in a decent 3 hour session for +$244.  I was happy with the way I played and didn't make a lot of mistakes.  I also dropped to 8 tables and kept it at that mark the entire time.  I constantly table selected and found some more profitable tables.  Part of the reason I dropped was because some of the advice given in the comment section of my last commentary flip out post.  Serious thanks to blog reader and Lucypher.  I probably would have played another 12 table + session without dropping if it wasn't for that.  I also saw no reason why I shouldn't cut the tables considering I lost 3 out of the last 4 sessions going into tonight.  I can afford to at this stage.

Going forward I want to stick to an 8 table maximum during each session.  That doesn't mean let it go to 9 or 10 because I'm up +$200 and the tables are too good to be true.  That means cut the other two god damn tables tables and keep it at 8 no matter what.  This is really important.  I am an undisciplined online player in this area.  I honestly think my biggest leak right now is playing too many tables at once.  This causes me to make more incorrect decisions.  It also causes me to lose focus more quickly when things aren't going my way.  Also, I don't table select as well.  So my win-rate quickly becomes a loss-rate.

I understand I have the "micro-skills" to keep up with the action and play a ton of tables at once.  However, at this stage in my poker "career" I need to squeeze the EV out of every situation, improve, and gradually build up.  This is not a video game it's my money, and it is my livelihood.  If I'm losing because making incorrect decisions whether it be online or live I feel like a complete failure.  There is no shame in playing 8 tables at once, there is no shame playing 4 tables at once.

So going forward online a big goal for me will be to strictly control the number of tables I play at once during any given session.  If the proven results aren't present than there is no way in hell 18 tables at once should be.

Starting out I'm going to leave it at EIGHT MAX and feel out my progress.  That doesn't mean 8 with the option to let it go to 12 if things are going well, that means EIGHT MAX.  I want to win at least 4 out of 5 sessions (only counting those at least 3 hours+ in duration) before I consider adding an additional two tables.  I understand that winning 4 out of 5 sessions might take a while.  Even if I'm playing incredible it's still easy to drop two out of every five sessions due to running poorly.  But this is sort of the point, I want to make sure I'm progressing correctly.  Also if I lose 4 out of 5 sessions I'm immediately dropping to a mere 6 tables at once.  So I'm going to have to earn my right to play more tables.  If I'm so fucking capable of playing all these tables than why not prove it?

So tonight was a solid three hour win that's one session.  Therefore, I have to win at least 3 out of the next 4 to go up to 10 tables. 

Session Overview:

Hours: 3

Hands:  1,488

VPPs Cleared (Or Portion of Bonus cleared):  Who the fuck cares?  You do still want to have a bankroll 9k VPPs later without depending on the life support of a bonus right?  And it's not desirable for you to dump more money into an online poker account correct?  And you will now have to pay rent the next 12 months and are no longer living in a fantasy world?  You are good enough to grind up with $3,650 and 73 buy ins at your game of choice correct?  You don't want to re-live the path to Supernova nightmare right?

Beat EV:  Yes

Profit:  +$244

Ending Bankroll:  +$3,682

Tommorow:  Corporate FML

Saturday
Sep182010

Online Commentary -$370 Trainwreck (9.18.2010)

I started off tonight really bad.  Down somehow -$225 in about 3 hours.  I’m reviewing some hands now, going to take a break and put in at least 3 more hours.  I really can’t put into words how much I despise online compared to live, I can’t say it enough.  How the fuck did I just lose 4 and a half buy ins again?  It never makes sense.  I have to think: when is the last time I’ve lost 4 buy-ins live in 3 hours?  Oh right never, that doesn’t happen.  I was about 18 tabling at one point so maybe that was too much.  Guess I have to put things in perspective as well, I’m never playing 18 tables live at once.  Then again I never pull off a decent win online to balance things out, so there is the problem.  Also the tables were pretty pathetic.  Looking at my stats it also looked like I nitted up too much and started missing spots.  I also ran -$180 in EV which means nothing I guess, but not even beating the EV is never great.  Oh yeah, I started the first Supernova bonus tonight for $1500, so I’ll naturally be doom-switched the next 10,000 VPPs.  I CAN’T LEAVE ANYWAYS.  I have to clear the bonus right?  Bullshit.

So I’m going to regroup and try to get something going here.  I want to stick to 12 tables during the next session and constantly table select.  I don’t want to go past this mark unless I go up several buy-ins (which will never happen, but whatever).  I have a serious control issue online.  I play to many tables at once.  I think I can handle it, but I feel like too many mistakes add up with that many.  The main difference between my live and online play is simple.  Live I don’t make mistakes, online I do.  It doesn’t get any more simple.  So drop the damn tables and stop making mistakes?

I also want to log a commentary for the next 3 hours+.  I think it may help me from jumping on to many tables at once.  Bored?  Write the commentary.  And besides it’s been so long!

1:08 a.m

5 hour energy take, oh God.  Probably a bad idea since I wanted to actually work out tomorrow before I go out.  It’s a friends bday so tomorrow night is going to be rough.

1:20 a.m

Under-way here.  I have my first 4 tables or so up and I’m on several waiting lists.  Looking forward to getting my ass handed to me.

Music:  Techno

Mood:  Skeptical and surprisingly tired

1:25 a.m

12 tables up.  GREAT NOW STOP ADDING TABLES.  Will be table selecting constantly, but no more than 12 please.  They are about half fast, but I can keep up with the action just fine.  Starting a “under consideration” slot where I will pile up potential promising tables.

1:45 a.m

Table 12 AK < AQ all in pre -$30.  Thanks always a pleasure.

2:00 a.m

Table 12.  All in -$100.  Flopped a set of jacks on a J Q K board.  The jackass 34/10/13 player somehow flops the nut set holding A 10 off after 3 betting pre.  Just only on this god damn bullshit site.  THERE GOES ANY CHANCE of profiting tonight.  This is why I don’t’ win online.  Get me to AC.  Completely demolished by terrible player flopping his miracle un god-damn real. 

TABLE 6 TWO OUTERED ON THE FUCKING RIVER MINUS 60 more dollars.  What else can go wrong in the span of 5 seconds?

QQ < 77 all in on the fucking flop.  River seven.

THANKS HI IT’S COOL I WAS JUST HERE FOR THE TWO OUTER BEAT-DOWN ON THE RIVER!

I’M now down over $100 (more than 2 buy ins) in 30 minutes without making a mistake.  Anyone else in the universe is up $100 + at this point, story of my life.

I’m not sure how much more this I can take tonight.  Not tiliting or anything just absolutely nothing I can do to avoid getting screwed.

Go ahead keep it up stars.  This time when the bankroll goes down because I get two-outered 50 times in a row on a full ring cash game there is no way in fucking hell you are getting another dime from me.  Fuck your Supernova, fuck your cash bonus, and fuck your site.  I’ll grind up live, withdraw everything and take my online business elsewhere thanks.   

2:30 a.m (30 minutes after the flip out)

Really not much to report here, the tables aren’t great but I’m constantly trying to find the best ones available.

I’m also brutally tired right now.  The 5 hour energy did not work, I’m guessing my body is completely immune to them by now.

3:10 a.m

Just doubled and won a $100 pot on table 5.  Picked off a $25 river shove correctly with an overpair.  Yeah his draw missed.  I had his range narrowed correctly the entire street, and the river shove just instantly confirmed everything.

3:50 a.m

Still down just under a buy-in.  This entire session has been an attempt to work my way back from the train-wreck first 30 minutes.  I love how every $40 coin-flip pot with a short-stacker I lose.  Don’t even get me started what a joke.

Not feeling as tired at least, I’ve sort of mellowed into a state of stability.  But now I’m hungry of course!

4:05 a.m

Just doubled on table 1 to $100.  Got in with a 72/22/25 psycho who jammed my 3-bet all in preflop.  AKs > 99 no choice there.

HEY THERE’S A HAND I USUALLY DON’T WIN.

Just took his last $35 winning another $70 pot.  This time playing TT and calling down his final river psycho shove, despite two jacks being on the board.  He showed missed K9, king high.  I’m absolutely forced to make a play on his range there despite the jacks showing.  You can’t hide from your range you son of a bitch!

Taking a quick break when the blinds hit.  That was 3 hours.  Don’t think I’m quite ready to sleep yet, would like to get in another hour and try to find some crazies.  I feel I’m playing decent poker right now.

Break at 4:20

Officially finished that session up +$30, about half a buy in.  At least I was able to fight back from a rough start.

4:30 a.m

Back again and have 12 tables up going strong.  If I make one stupid play I’m logging out for the night, that’s a promise.  Let’s earn the right to play here.

4:40 a.m

-$40 pot table 10  99 < JJ all against a clone short-stacker over a blind war.  The usual.  Of course he has JJ when he’s stealing 35% from that position.  Must be nice!

5:10 a.m

Nice -$100 pot lost against a 60/23/18 psycho.  Stars decides to let his 49 strike gold and flop trip 4’s against my overpair 88 whatever.  I’m pretty much fucking fed up.  He could have just as easily had any missed draw or air.

Calling an end to this miserable night at 5:30

-$80 on table 8.  Another ridiculous turned straight against my set.  What a god awful mistake it was logging back on.  If anyone’s being aggressive in any given situation it’s the complete nuts 100% of the time just sick.

- $80 ANOTHER POT LOST.   This time a spaz-clown catches trip 3’s against over-pair QQ on the flop.   Any two like cards on the board they instantly have the trips, the sickest thing I’ve ever seen.  Can’t lay it down either on these dreadful 20-50 BB tables.

So in the span of an hour every 50/30 player in the universe is going to catch lighting in a bottle against whatever over-pair or whatever.  Play 59 suited with raises pre and hit.  Hit the miracle with 3 10 off suit, play TJ and nail that straight against the set, whatever it’s pokerstars right.  Can’t actually take any of this seriously

So instead of finishing the final 3 hours up half a buy in I’m down -$145 in 4 hours.  What a disgusting night.  I can’t wait to get away from online as much as possible. 

Down -$370 in 7 hours tonight; disgusting.  It couldn’t have gone any worse.  At this rate my online bankroll will run out before I clear the nova bonus and good riddance.  I have no intention of depositing in this b.s site again.  I’d rather put the +$600 live instead of pissing it away to 50/30 players catching miracles all night.  Then they deposit it into the Supernova elite accounts.  I couldn’t be more pissed off right now. 

Hours: 7

Net Loss:  -$370

Online roll:  $3,438

Buy ins remaining:  68

Pending bonus:  $1,500 (only 1,500 of 10,500 VPPs cleared)

Pokerstars:  The only place in the world where I don’t feel comfortable with 68 buy-ins.

-bag

Monday
Sep132010

Day of Freedom: 10/22/2010

My corporate employment offically expires 10/22/2010, I got it exactly the way I wanted it.

DAY OF FREEDOM:  10/22/2010

I wanted to really leave on good terms, which I will be doing.  My boss wanted me to stay until the end of the current project, which I agreed to do.  It’s beneficial to her because she doesn’t have to hire a new person and try to train them for a month.  By the time she trains him the project will be over anyways. She has time to plan and wants me until the end because I know exactly what needs to be done to close this project out.  It’s good for me because I leave on mutual good terms.  I can also take the extra two weeks as an extended transition period as I begin moving stuff up to New Jersey (and of course playing live on the weekends).  So in the end it looks as if there will be no big explosion, no grand exiting scene.  I will simply drift off into the unknown and pursue my own passions.  There were no hard feelings and I think that’s important when everything is said and done.  It's good to leave with maturity, class, and respect no matter the situation.

It’s also good to have the specific date set and I can’t help it, I'M SUPER EXCITED right now.

I only played about 7 hours online this weekend, but won just over $500.  I’m on a small winning streak online (6 out of the last 7 sessions) and I like where my game is right now.  Everything is clicking, it’s just one of those weeks.  I’ll leave it at that and won’t run on like I usually do. 

The beginning of the end is here!

CLICK CLICK CLICK

-bag

Thursday
Sep092010

Amazing AC Trip and +$1290 Win

I got back in town on Tuesday night, but I haven’t been in much of a writing mood for some reason.  I think some of the reason for this is I’ve been really stressed out with such a drastic life change ahead.  You think I would want to write more, but I guess not.  Anyways I officially signed the lease Tuesday and met my roommate who is really awesome and cute.  So once I get a third roommate lined up I will feel a lot better about the situation.  Lease starts October 1st.  Nothing has really set in yet.  It won’t until I officially quit my day job in Maryland and get settled in up there.

Finished up +$1280 on the tables:

Well man I am happy I went up to AC and sacrificed my labor day.  I left around 10:00 a.m on Monday and got there around 1:00 p.m.  After checking in and crushing a nap I soon hit the tables.  The first 4 hours of Monday I finished around break even.  I then left and had dinner.  After I got back I switched tables.

Then came the best 1-2NL session of my life by far.  I ran a train on the table for +$1350 during the next 6.5 hours.  It was one of those ridiculous sessions where everything falls into place and goes your way for a few hours.  Pretty much all of the profit came within a 5 hour span.  One of my side goals for when I first moved around AC was going to be to win at least +$1,000 on a live 1-2 table session (no matter how long it took) at least once.  This beyond exceeded my expectations.  I was hoping to profit maybe around +$300 in 15 hours or so to at least pay for the hotel and gas.   So yes I’d say it was a “+EV” decision to get a hotel a night and make a trip out of it.

The next day nothing went well.  I played 3.5 hours and finished down -$75.  I played well and got in some great +EV situations, but a few suck outs ended any hopes of profiting during that mini session.  However, I still left AC with +$1280 in net profit and I played 14 hours total.  In one night I took back more profit than I make in two weeks at my current day job.

Despite the win I’m not bouncing off the walls or anything.  Yes it’s a great milestone that further proves what I already know I can accomplish out there.  However, I’ve always expected to win a decent amount playing as long as I stuck with my study and commitment.  This was a great win, but I still have oceans of work to do.  This is just the beginning for me.

I’m still setting the goal to win another +1k in a live 1-2 session during the first month out there at least once.  Repeating would make it a little more impressive.

The trips back and forth have really made me remember how much I love live poker.  I’ve always considered myself a better live player and I still am.  And not because the players are so much worse, or blah, or blah.  It’s also more enjoyable to me.  Alliances are forged, enemies are made, and ridiculous situations run rampant.  The social factor is very important to me.  Even when I’m not involved in the specific hand the dynamics are very interesting to me. 

I have been playing mistake free poker live and it feels great.  I haven’t lost a buy in during the last 40 hours of play.  I feel playing live allows me the squeeze the living hell out of the EV of EVERY SINGLE HAND.  Live poker also gives me the ability to make enormous lay-downs correctly, which I have been nailing during the past month.  Lay-downs that I don’t see some of the best online players ever making.  It’s just a different game.

For example, during the past trip I made a huge lay-down early to save myself a full $150.  I’m very good and keeping myself out of trouble.  It takes an ungodly suck-out to get me “in the hole early”.  There was a hand where I limped in pre-flop from the SB with 6-7 other players involved.  I had 34s clubs.  The flop comes

5c 6s 7s

After I made a moderate sized raise in relation to the pot, the button villain pushed all in.  After piecing the hand together and thinking for about 2-3 minutes I folded my hand and hung my head (in disbelief that I had to fold), only losing about $10.  He said he would show me his hand if I paid a $1.  I happily paid.  As promised he turned over his hand, which happened to be the nuts; 8-9 off-suit.   If I don't make this lay-down I'm down $150 early and it probably changes the entire night.

This is one of those massive spots where my EV is absolutely going through the roof when playing live.  I can think back to a hand like this at least once every 15 hours of play where I save myself a buy-in and seem to make a lay-down that 99% of my opponents would not be able to correctly make on these stakes.

Anyways I will keep updated on my move and transition into playing full time.  Right now is a stressful time.  Still need to find another roommate.  I also need to stick with the job a few more weeks until I can move.  There are some other factors that might make me want to stay at the job until mid-October.  I’m looking forward to not driving 8 hours for once this weekend and staying in town.  Looking to go out Friday for a friend's bday and maybe grind some stupid online Saturday.

-bag

Monday
Sep062010

Really Soon.... (9/6/2010)

Another AC TRIP!

I have to be in AC area Tuesday around 4 p.m.  So instead of driving 8 hours in one day I decided to just make a trip out of it.  I booked a hotel for Monday night (off for the holiday).  I also took off work Tuesday.  Nothing like a road trip on the AC EXPRESSWAY BABY!!!

I’m going to officially sign the lease Tuesday, so things are pretty close to a done deal.  I still need a third roommate because the card player dropped out, but I have until October 1st to find one.  Two guys messaged me this weekend, but I didn’t like the sound of either of them.  I honestly would rather the third roommate be another girl.  I’m not sure exactly why, maybe I just don’t like the thought of living with another random guy.  At first it seemed like only girls were messaging me, but now it’s all guys which is really lame.

So what this trip should accomplish:

1)  Signing the lease officially.

2)  Meeting my other roommate in person.  She’s really cool and I’m looking forward to it.  We have been in touch a lot, but not actually met yet.

3)  Choosing the furniture that needs to be removed by October 1st.

4)  Taking a good video of the third room for the future third roommate.  This way I don’t actually have to meet with them and show them the place.  This is a must.

5)  Some serious grind on the live poker tables.  I debated if this was necessary.  Who knows what the action will be like on labor day?  It might not even be worth it.  But I wanted to get into AC early tomorrow and hopefully find some decent action.  I want to at least put in 12-14 hours.  Should be able to at least pay for the hotel/gas + a little extra.  I will be starting off live, so establishing as much of a win-rate and confidence level as possible is important.  I’m looking to build on some decent live results.

And for Online Poker…

The month break came to an end.  I actually logged in some hands online this weekend.  I put in 13 hours, and ended with about +$220 in profit.  My approach has really shifted.  I’ve been starting sessions with only 4 tables and gradually adding more tables on as I feel comfortable.  I really want to do everything in my power to establish a win-rate and not focus on the volume so much.  A lesser amount of tables allows me to squeeze the EV out of every situation.  I also understand I’m not the best player in the world and I have plenty of room for improvement.  I’ve started to post some hands on forums to get feedback.  There’s at least a hand or two per session where I question the way I played it.

So yes I’ve really scaled online back and taken a new approach here.  There are no short-cuts in poker and I expect to build up the hard way.  I really don’t want to deposit any more online during the upcoming month so I expect to build off the $3370 that I have.  I also have 97,000 FPPs.  When I hit 100,000 I can begin clearing a $1,500 Supernova bonus.  But screw the bonus, it’s all about improvement for me right now.  The bonus will come when it comes.  I also need to make sure I don’t go for this bonus until I have the right time set aside.  I’m going to be very busy with setting up the new place during this next month so we will see.  As soon as I feel I have some decent hours set aside to grind online I will go for it.

And thoughts…

So yeah I’m about to go to bed to prepare for a two more exhausting days of travel and grinding live.  Well I don’t mind the live poker I enjoy that, but the traveling is starting to take its toll.  I’m looking forward to just moving and getting settled in.  I feel like a month is just so far away.  I feel like I need a weekend where I just do NOTHING.  As in no driving ANYWHERE; that would be just fantastic.

Such a drastic change looming ahead of me, yet it’s hard for me to describe my emotions at this particular time.  I feel my emotions are just consumed by the mundane.  My life has just been driving back and forth every weekend to set this up, finding roommates, negotiating the lease, grinding live, and then back to the 9-5 during the week.  None of it has really set in yet.  An unthinkable battle is just around the corner, yet it isn’t completely real until I quit and I’m physically moved into the new place.

In a way it’s a beautiful thing that I’m actually doing this and there isn’t anything that will change my course.  I spent the last year at a job I despise to set the money aside for rent to put myself in this position.  I even lived at my parents the last 8 months at 25 years old to live rent free and help save money.  I made that the decision to sacrifice some social life and I don’t regret it.  I am secure in a sense, but I have things planned out to the tee.  I will still be stressed as hell if things go really stupidly especially at first.  Then again I’m excited.  I know that this is the most legitimate shot I will have in a long time to change my path for the better.  To earn a level and freedom and happiness that is acceptable to me.

And if I fuck up I’ll be back in a shitty office with the other corporate drones REALLY soon.  And back in my parent’s house at 26 years old trying to save money REAALLLY fucking soon.  I have a lot to fight for and I truly understand that.

Talk to you all REAAAAALLLLY FUCKING SOON.

-BAG