Challenging Myself (2/16/2011)

The title of my last post was “All Time Low” which is a pretty accurate description of my life right now.  Online I was playing a little over break even for about a month until I got doom-switched last night.  But my problems aren’t just with online.  Live I’ve had two losing weekends in a row at 2-5 where nothing could go right.  Also I’ve been dealing with some beyond serious issues with the girl I’ve been dating.

Now that I think about it the dating issues and the downswings might not be a complete coincidence.  I have had so much on my mind that it sticks with me during my poker sessions.  It’s like stepping up to the plate with 50 pound weights attached to my ankles.

The last two weeks have not been fun.  At this point I’m forced to take the negatives and CHALLENGE myself with them.  I have to use the negatives as fuel, as motivation.  When I woke up today I went to the gym and released rage (I don’t even like the gym).  It was a decent work-out I must say.  So life has me down?  Good use it to go to the gym and release some fucking rage.

Does poker have me down?  Good use it to stay focused and play mistake free during every single session.  Use it to study and improve even during an off day.

With poker the losses may not shift all at once.  All I can do is take each session 1 hand at a time.  Again my job is to make correct decisions, not win money (as hard as that is to grasp).

It’s not all so bad right now:

Live

I should really stay positive.  Live I’m fine.  I’ve ended up with a net loss two weeks in a row, but I’ve only had three losing live weeks since October.  I’m still just rolled enough to play out 5 more buy-ins or so at 2-5.  If the downswing continues I can always drop back to 1-2 for another month or two before taking another 2-5 shot.  I am willing to commit as much time as possible on 2-5 because I feel now is a great time to solidify myself as a 2-5 regular.  The bankroll is there and I don’t have much financial stress.

I also recently became friends with a 2-5 regular that I really respect.   I see the dude frequently win 2k on 2-5 tables during his weekend sessions like it’s no problem.  He’s very good and I look up to him for sure.  He’s a good person to coordinate strategy with.

Online

How I wish last night had never happened.  After I lost $300 in 3 hours and was feeling tilted I should have never logged back on.  I’m 75% to another $1500 bonus, but with the -$500 loss last night knock the eventual bonus to $1000 basically.  I continue to hate the online, but I still have over 90 buy-ins to figure things out.  And if I play break even until I clear the next bonus I will have over 120 buy-ins.  So the project is far from over.   

Dating

Whatever I decide I obviously can’t let any girl affect my performance when playing poker.  If this happens frequently then she just has to go.  A girl having that sort of influence is retarded.

-bag