Week of the Fish, Fuck My Life (1/12/2011)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011 at 5:01AM Online Nightmare:
My blood is boiling, I am absolutely fucking disgusted. Just finished up an online stretch, getting my ass kicked the entire week, down around -$480 in 18 hours total. The last stretch online I couldn't even finish the last 30 minutes of the session. Because I can't run relatively normal playing a nit style on 8 fucking tables at once online. No matter what I do some horrific nightmare bullshit goes down.
Last session another maniac fucks my entire week, this time online. We each have $60. I 3-bet to $12 pre with AA, he calls with 8To. Yeah hes calling with any two.
FLOP: 5, 8, 8
SHIT-TON I can do there. Bye $120 pot.
Same retard a few minutes later flops a set against my nut flush draw. Turn pairs the board for an auto loss.
Then earlier I'm sitting there with the stone cold nut straight with 75% equity to win on the turn. It's all in. RIVER BOARD PAIRS FOR THE HOUSE BABY. There goes another $140 pot.
A few minutes later I flop a set, oh he has the miracle straight already on a 9 T K board, it goes all in. Wait can the board pair for me? NO FUCK no..
So that's it. couldn't even finish the last 30 minutes, chucked my fucking head-phones across the room, I'm losing my fucking mind this week.
I have no idea how I'm going to regroup and continue online next week, but I guess I'm trapped. Part of me wants to cash out my 5 grand something roll and never look at that Pokerstars lobby again. It's absolute sick. To improve so much, to drop your tables lower to focus. Then the maniac mega-fish catches the top 1% of his range EVERY TIME. The short-stacker wins every flip, every ridiculous bull-shit situation. You finally flop a complete monster, the nuts, and YOU'RE AUTO-SUCKED OUT. You finally get the good end of a cooler, HE GETS THE TWO-OUTER. You continue to plummet as your EV hits new records of barf. There is just no justice.
TO think around half of the population runs positive EV, while I feel lucky to run positive 1 out of 10 sessions. My life time -EV will never balance out, I don't know how much more I can really take.
So I cut the session short. All I can do is good to bed really pissed off and fight another day. Somehow build the courage to put in 3 more hours and get raped by bull-shit, like a thousand times before. Have to regroup and keep fighting here. It's got to turn sometime, I have to stay focused. I'm only about 40% to another SN bonus, this is a tough stretch. I need to pull out some solid sessions, they can't catch forever.
Live:
I never really recovered after the profit loss caused by the the maniac last Thursday. Friday and Saturday went absolutely terrible, with a small amount won. I had my first losing live week since I've been out here, down -$200 total or whatever. Not a lot, but pretty disgusting to think about. Though I guess one losing week out of 12+ isn't so bad. When it rains it pours. Online and live this has been my worst 7 day period since moving out here when it comes to poker. Not only from a net dollar loss, but certainly from the psychological stand-point (as seen above). It was bound to happen eventually but whatever.
Have to keep grinding and close out a minimal amount to get up to some 2-5 games. Amazing I'm still not at the 6k profit mark at 1-2 live. I would have been, but once again thanks last Thursday!
Life:
Other than poker being absolute shit of late things are going really well. I've been seeing a girl and I really like her. We have talked or texted everyday since we met. I guess that's an accurate description of the situation, "seeing her". We aren't official, and I want to take things slow, but things have progressed really fast. We have been in touch every day, and hang out whenever we are both off. Lol ok well I mean.... when she's off I usually plan to take that day off during the week.
Tomorrow is her day off so I'm meeting at her place and we have some cool plans. As for poker sucking, that shit stays on the tables. What happens on the poker table stays on the table, good or bad. I think that's a huge reason why I don't tell people anything, even when things are going good. You are going to have bad runs, and one could always be right around the corner. Don't jinx it by being cocky when things go well. The short term means nothing. It's all about whether I'm going to be able to sustain this in the long run. Or am I going to have to crawl back to corporate in a year?
Anyways, it's really bizarre that I met this girl. I didn't expect to meet anyone out here, I wasn't looking for it. Just a strong connection out of nowhere that happened really fast. She's been way to good to be true so far, I'm certainly expecting the worst! I guess that's when something like this happens, when you 100% are not looking for it. Hmm wonder if it's a correlation...
"More time with girl = Poker collapsing around me".
Tommorrow I'm taking off and hanging out with the girl. Then live grinding between Thursday-Saturday. Might also visit NY sometime within the next two weeks to visit family. Blah blah later. Fuck online.
-bag
Reader Comments (3)
I haven't looked into the numbers yet myself BUT... would switching to Full Tilt and getting rake back plus that new Black Card thing be an option for you? You could 4-8 table rush poker and play a shit ton hands per session.
Or do the Supernova perks still blow Tilt's perks out of the water?
Not sure would have to look into it. Perks for Nova would most likely still be better, but doesn't matter much when you can no longer win a session.
-bag
I know what you mean, man... you should seriously consider mixing in mtt's and sit n go's to your schedule. If you have any interest about mtt's let me know and we could chat on Skype or something. I could probably give you an edge on any field in a $50 buy in or below and less than 2 hours.