3/27/2010 Commentary Down -$550

7:30 p.m

Under way here!

8:40 p.m

16 tabling trying to keep cool…

8:45 p.m

ALL IN AK PRE 3 way all in .  DUDE HAS AA UNBELIEVABLE.  Hit the king doesn’t matter

QQ < A10 all in pre on table 11.  Of course the ace comes.  So what are we -$100 fucking EV in 20 minuteS?

9:00 p.m

QQ < AK all in pre  TURN ACE.. WOOOT!!! YEAH BABY!!

Ak < 88 ALL IN PRE I flop 2 pair and lose to a set.  You know what I don’t have time to be pissed whatever it happens like every time.  Obviously not winning that hand in this life time.   What a complete shit call with the 88 by the way; and gets rewarded again.

9:10 p.m

aK < 10 J ALL IN PRE.. HE CALLS A 4-BET PRE FLOP.   JACK FLOPS MOTHER FUCK YOU SON OF A BTICH

9:20 p.m

I have been really struggling to avoid a suck-out or win a race.  I feel like I haven’t doubled on one of these 16 tables since the dinosaurs walked the Earth.

9:55 p.m

QQ < A8 all in pre on table 4.  Absolutely brutal suck-out; a full $50 gone I should have won.  I knew it was over as soon as I saw that disgusting ace flop.

10:20 p.m

Going to break at 10:30 p.m , then regroup for a long night-cap session

Up +$24 in those 3 hours 16 tabling.  Did my job, yeah some things didn’t go right but I played fine.  Grabbing some food relaxing and trying to pump up for the next session.  Things get crazy late night.

11:00 p.m

I’m back.  I want to stick to around 16 tables for the next 3 hours.  I already have 6 selected that I was on before my break.

11:05 p.m

Flopped the flush from the BB.  Someone flopped higher.  Nice $20 stolen from me by Jokerstars.  PLENTY I CAN DO THERE.  Let me fold the flopped flush lol.  The only thing I can do there is switch poker sites.  Another disgusting cold-deck when I was just getting things going.

KK < AQ all in pre table 1.  Thanks really needed that right now.  AMAZING.  Another one of those why the fuck am I still playing on this site after getting fucked over for a month straight moments?

11:30 p.m

Just smashed a 5-hour energy; most likely going to need it.  These things give me a boast but increase my rage my about 50x.

Now playing: REO Speedwagon- Roll with the Changes. LOL.  Song is way too slow for me.

12:00 a.m

Still 16 tabling.  There’s a lack of updates because I don’t have enough time to hear myself think, much less put in decent updates.   I go to my word doc and 16 tables start BEEPING at me.

Now playing: Don’t Fear the Reaper: Blue Oyster Cult = awesome.

AK < 77 all in pre THANKS.!!!

DEF LEPPARD LOVE BITES = AWESOME

12:15 a.m

Another retarded cooler on table 8  AK < QK.. idiot hits a straight against my top pair amazing. 

12:30 a.m

JJ < KK all in pre table 5.  I squeeze play into some idiot who decided to call behind with KK on this one hand for whatever reason.  Nothing I can do there except stop playing on this site of course.

AK < 99 all in pre my signature move; get all in with a race (AK+) and lose 50 out of 60 times.  Of course the opponent will have a race but be calling with total fucking shit he has no business being in the pot with; BUT GET REWARDED OF COURSE.

You think in the midst of all the bull-shit over a month or so it would balance out, but IT DOESN’T.  It never will on this site. 

TABLE 1 FULL BUY IN GONE AQ < 55 I flop top pair he flops the set TONS I CAN DO LIKE SWITCH SITES THANKS AGAIN STARS .  At least im tracking all these hands to prove rig when I run 2 more months like this.

OH SOMEONE PLAYED 200,000 HANDS AND RAN –EV 19 OUT 20 SESSIONS THAT SEEMS NORMAL HAHA.  You wait you crooks.

Same situation same table AQ < A10 full buy in gone.  This time he flops the full house lmao wow.  I’m about flipping out right now.  I have to be down -$200 there’s no way anyone can run like this and not be down 20 buy ins. 

1010 < JJ all in pre

HEY STARS.  SEND A TEAM OUT TO MY HOUSE WITH BATS AND FUCKING SM ASH MY COMPUTER.  IT WOULD BE MORE FAIR.

I could run like a God and not recover from the bull-shit discussed above obviously.  You don’t lose 50 fucking races and coolers in a row and come back.

Time to attempt to relax, keeping getting in with the best of it and HAVE FUN LOL.  AS STUPID AS THIS SOUNDS.  This is fun right?  I mean its fucking hilarious.

88 < A10 all in  pre.  Great call with the Ace 10 hahahah.  Beyond sick.

1:00 a.m

I’ve been doom switched about 15 buy ins, which is awesome.  I’m playing fine just nothing is going right.

99 < 10 10 all in pre on table 6 I give up whatever.  Obviously never weinning another pot again.

1:10 a.m

AA < QQ all in pre.  Good one.  This has officially been the most disgusting poker experience of my life.  This entire session.  So I can’t win a race, I can’t avoid a suck-out, I get coolered every 5 hands.  What’s the point of even playing?>??

TABLE 12 AA> AJ all in pre.  IT HELD… THAT’S SOME TWILIGHT ZONE SHIT RIGHT THERE.

Then Stars tries to cooler me 2 seconds later on table 4 to piss me off.  I folded JJ pre, the asshole had KK, no thanks on the cooler.

1:30 a.m

AQ < 59 offsuit all in pre.  Can we at least pretend like the site isn’t rigged and my account doesn’t have a doomswitch on it?  Who calls all in with 59 off; oh right people who WIN WITH IT.  Wow

1:40 a.m

In the last 10 minutes I’ve been dealt QQ about 4 times.  EVERY SINGLE FLOP had an ace.

2:00 a.m

I feel a heater coming.  Like sometime in the next decade.

AK < QQ all in pre.  REALLY NEEDED THAT. 

AA < 10 J off he decided to call $12 preflop.  Why not right?

QQ < 56 ALL IN FLOP 2 PAIR

I HAVE been rigged to hell.  I might as well deposit $600 more and pretend this never happened .  wow

So play any 2 cards and any win against my QQ +

Down over $450 this session.  This is a record.  That’s over 20 buy ins I’ve been fucked tonight. 

Table AK > AQ all in pre.  Seriously?  Ok that’s one hold out of 50 thanks.

The fact is I could play 50 hours and not have this come close to balancing out.  The shit that has occurred the past few hours is unthinkable.

Table 12 dealt AA they all fold around.  I’m almost happy; better than the suckout?

2:10 a.m

JJ < AJ all in pre.. $40 MORE RAPED.  This has gone from running bad to horrific inescapable never ending nightmare.

And the best part of the night I JUST CLEARED A $50 BONUS.   So after rigging my account -$400 dollars Im given $50!!! That’s so kind!!!  Imagine someone burning your house down, but then offering you a cardboard box and saying: “So we are still cool right?”

JJ < AK all in pre RIVER KING.  I WANT TO BREAK THIS KEYBOARD IN HALF.

Whatever 500 or 600 dollars on complete screw all night.  Is it the end of my life?  No.  Am I starving on the street?  No.

JJ < QQ all in pre

AQ < KK all in pre on a blind fight

WOW

Down -$550 total

Now I can say I know what it feels like when a girl gets beaten by her boyfriend and comes back to them.   See not all is lost I’VE LEARNED SOMETHING!!!

2:40 a.m

JJ> 25 all in pre.  Awesome…..

Nut straight flopped.  He turns a higher nut straight un belivable.   Probably cutting this off soon.  I can’t take this anymore.  Just when I think nothing else can possible go worse, stars figures out a card combination to be dealt THAT’S ACTUALLY WORSE. 

2:55 a.m

Table 10 AK > 77 all in pre

3:00 a.m

I raise $4 preflop with 10 10  and someone called after limping.  I go $13 all in on the flop with overpair he turns over AA .  What a night.

10 tabling right now , but they are all fast. 

3:20 a.m

3 of the worst suck out bullshit hands in a row im done LOGGING. 

AK < AQ ALL IN PRE

JJ < JQ ALL IN PRE

AND

TOP PAIR RAPED bY gut-shot STRAIGHT

3:30 a.m

Logged down over $500.  Absolute devastation

Analyzing Some hands here, because I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t.  There needs to be some justification as to how it’s possible to lose over 20 short stack buy ins (over $500) in 4 fucking hours:

QQ < A8 all in preflop -$50

AA< QQ all in preflop -$30

JJ < JQ all in preflop -$40

JJ < AJ all in preflop -$36

AK < AQ all in preflop -$30

JJ < AK all in -$40 (river King)

QQ < AK all in -$40 (turn Ace)

AQ < 59? all in preflop -$30 (flops the nine and I don’t advance)

AK < 10 10 all in preflop -$40 (completely necessary call with your 10 10)

AK < 77 all in preflop -$40 (completely necessary call with your 77)

KK < AQ all in preflop -$30

AK < 10 J all in preflop -$25

QQ < A 10 all in preflop -$25

AK < 88 all in peflop -$35 (another stupid call rewarded)

Over pair 88 < flush draw -$28 (suck out some more)

88 < A10 all in preflop -$25 (great call)

AK < 77 all in preflop -$30 (another great call)

QQ < 56 offsuit all in on the flop -$45 (how do you even win that?)

JJ < QQ all in preflop -$35 (tons I can do there)

JJ < KK all in preflop -$35 (tons I can do there)

AQ < A10 -$70 He flops two pair against my top pair.  Total bull-shit

AQ < 55 all in on the flop (top pair against set) -$50  To the same idiot.  Does this guy work for PokerStars?

48 (hearts) < K7 (hearts)  I’m on the big blind he limps and we both flop a flush -$40.  Do I fold that because I’m rigged?

 I count the sample size of hands above and that’s -$850.  Suddenly it makes sense why I’m down so much.  Was I ok with the way I played all of the hands above?  Yes.  So fuck my life I guess.

After-math

So there basically goes an entire month worth of work put in to earn a bonus which is stolen from me in 4 hours.  For the first time in a while I’m seriously questioning where I’m going with my life, poker included.  For starters I don’t trust PokerStars at all, I haven’t for a while.  Since the middle of this month I have played around 28,000 hands on PokerStars.  Out of those hands I have ran over -$1000 EV.  That really doesn’t seem “random” to me at all.  That seems like a pretty big sample size to get screwed over so massively.  And out of those 9 sessions total I’ve run very far under EV 8 out of 9 times.  And this just includes what HEM picks up.  This doesn’t include getting coolered to hell with AK+ 8 out of 10 times during my typical session or whatever ridiculous bull-shit.  This sort of thing is not even included.

It’s come to a point where instead of being out with my friends I’m running a billion dollars under –EV every weekend and feeling quite fucked over.  Nothing really goes right for me; just like the rest of my life.   In the 6,000 hands I played in my final session (tonight) HEM claims I was down -$380 in EV.  I’m not even sure how that’s possible.  Down -$550 total.  Fucking crazy how bad that session actually went.

Meanwhile I’m constantly weighing transitioning into full buy in 50NL.  I mean on PokerStars I feel nothing matters at this point.  I’d just be getting sucked out of full buy ins rather than short-stack buy ins.  I’ve been talking to a serious grinder at the 200 NL levels, he said I can call him and ask questions any time.  So it’s good to know when I do make the transition I have someone I can call anytime who has been through the same path and conquered it.  I played full buy in 3 hours earlier today and it didn’t go well.  However, I played at a bad time and the tables seemed awful.  But I ran under EV and only lost a buy in and a half.   

Going forward I was planning on short-stack sessions to gain VPPS, and full-stack sessions to begin transitioning to full buy-in.  But a few more short-stack sessions like that and I will be pretty broke.  And things never change for me.  So I can't just keep going back in getting fucking hammered even know I feel like I'm getting in with the best situations.  It always seems like I can’t run any worse, and then I come back and somehow I find a way to run even shittier.  Whatever.  Planning to go away this upcoming weekend so it should be a MUCH needed break.

If everything wasn’t fucked enough I have to worry about PokerStars upping the min buy in on the cash tables.  This would basically eliminate any reason to short-stack I think.  Also, there is some online poker legislation that could screw online poker around June.  Maybe it’s for the better.  Going to sleep down and questioning everything.  I'm really happy this miserable month is almost over.

-bag

Comments

[Ben]

Wow,
crazy month mate.
I hope that next month brings better luck.
looking forward to reading all about it!
make us proud!
Enjot the break his weekend and some back ready to make some money.

[FkCoolers]

Holy shit, dude.

Yeah, I don't want to put myself in that bullshit tinfoil hat crowd but anything that runs off a computer program can never be totally randomzied in my opinion.

I'm down about 12 buy-ins with the exception of a nice heads-up session I had recently, and I've been getting it in good (or 50/50) like you basically every time and never winning.

I think I'm going to play tournaments on FTP and PStars. I'm getting the itch to play live for a living again... I used to play 5/10 $2000 max buy-in for a living. Then I had a kid and got divorced (in that order) and he comes first so a fixed income is mandatory.

Oh well. He turns 18 in 14 years so start the countdown!

[Lucypher]

Bags, you have been running bad but the long run is longer than you may think. Perhaps you need a brief respite from poker. Take a weekend off or something to get re-focused. If you go pro one day, you might have one or more months like this out of every twelve. You have to be able to play through this. Don't self destruct. It won't help you. Reach deep down inside yourself and regain control of your inner self. Find the calmness. Obtain and read Elements of Poker by Tommy Angelo. Just don't give up. Not now. Not ever.

[baglife]

Thanks so much for the comments. I’m not ready to give up, but I am rattled because of the last month. It was the most hands I have ever played in a month; and the most money I have ever lost.

FK that’s awesome. Where did you play for a living? I mean that is still my goal in the long-run; not sure if I will ever get there. Haha so when he’s 18 does that mean you can just throw him out? What about his college tuition and all? You should make it clear early that he’s not going to college if he doesn’t earn a scholarship (The ultimate bluff!)

Lucypher yeah maybe it’s just one of those unthinkable months that could happen to the best of us. I just hope that is the case and I’m not missing leaks. I mean entries like the one above; there’s not much I can do. There can be some massive swings when short-stacking. I’ll check into that book; I remember you mentioning it before.

[FkCoolers]

I played at Foxwoods. There were enough fish there where a move to Vegas was not necessary.

My ex and I spoke and it's pretty much a given that without decent financial aid and a scholarship, anything besides a state school is going to be very hard to pay for. I don't even want to know what a school like Boston College will be charging 14 years from now. Probably like $75,000-82,000 per year. Pretty disgusting.

He lives with her - I just meant that at 18 I don't owe child support anymore and a lot of other things should be spelled out clearly by then so I'll know if I could ever quit a day job and take a shot again. But I'll also be 44 when that day comes so I probably would decline even if I had the chance to do it.

[baglife]

I can't imagine how ridiculous the cost will be. Also a degree in 14 years will be almost completely worthless, it will be like a high school diploma. Even today it doesn't mean as much in most fields.

That being said I think there will be a point where the price has to start dropping, especially as the actual value of a degree decreases more and more. Also there is some promising legislation already out there for secondary education reform (ex recent legislation to cut banks out of the student loan business). Hopefully we will stay on a good path there.

As for poker and your itch to play live, it's tough to bury what you feel passionate about doing. But just because you're 44 doesn't mean you can't play for a living. Age is a state of mind.