2/13/2010 (Commentary: The Session That Ruined Me?)
Sunday, February 14, 2010 at 1:50PM I'm going to put in my session below un-cut. This is exactly what was going through my mind as I was playing, and I typed it while I was playing. There is a lot of emotion, anger, and hopelessness below. I'm going to leave it as it is for a few reasons:
A) Entertainment value.
B) So I can look back and see what a complete psycho I really am.
C) To try to find any leaks later.
Anyways The session lasted about 8 hours so here you go:
I lost -$100 playing two hours earlier; that session really didn’t go well. I decided to play another few hours. I’m going to keep in low on the tables this time. My bankroll is not in a good state. Starting with $1531, if I drop to $1200 I’m going to need a deposit.
9:20 p.m
The session begins, I’m starting off with two tables.
10:30 p.m
Really not much happening for a long time. The dry spell just broken on table 4 as I doubled with AA. I got it all in pre-flop and was called down with JJ. My hand narrowly avoid catastrophe on the river. I’m leaving that table with $100. I was 4 tabling, but I’m constantly cutting back on tables that aren’t worth my while. That’s about 95% of the tables available
11:00 p.m
Stomach really feels like shit; ate this disgusting hot-dog for dinner. Currently 4-tabling and not much has been going on. Very tight tables at the moment.
11:10 p.m
Just lost a buy-in with KK. The standard ace flopped. I lead out he calls. I turned the nut flush draw and went 24 all in. He calls. His AQ holds. The passive call like an idiot on the flop won him some extra there. Back to pretty much even and really pissed off. Taking a small break.
11:30 p.m
Time to regroup; I’m back. Starting out with 2.
12:00 a.m
I should have stayed on break. A whole lot of nothing for a long time. This is also the worst I have ever seen the tables. Offically -$20 down for the session. This is sad.
12:05 a.m
Just doubled up on one of the tables to $70 with AQ. Flopped a queen and got action. Feels very strange seeing a playable hand and actually having it pay off something.
12:20 a.m
Just doubled up on table 4 shoving AK all in preflop. The guy called with 66 for some reason. I hit a flop for once as well. I’m going to leave the table with $85, it’s a shame because it’s a really bad table and I’d like to stick around. But I really need that double up and don’t want to risk the full $80 right now. I’ll just focus on finding a comparable terrible table.
12:45 a.m
IDIOT FUCKER limps UTG. I re-raise to $8 from the cut off. He goes all in I call. My KK gets sucked out by AK on the turn. Un-fucking-real. Yeah I really needed that THANKS. It just never ends on this site, it really doesn’t. You know I have to have a net loss with KK on this site. I’m so pissed the fuck off right now. Pokerstars the one poker-site where patience NEVER pays off. That was huge. Down for the session instead of up because I can’t dodge 3 outs.
1:00 a.m
I just made a nice read on table 1. I was in a pot with QQ, still stuck around with a bet or call on the flop, turn, and river despite the king showing. He tried to bluff the river, did not work. I should have raised him harder! I may leave that $96 stack on table 1. I have incredible position on the worst player.
All in $51 pre on table 3. Please win it? FLOP KING HELL YES PLEASE HOLD. Absolutely huge. He called $50 with QQ. Flopped the king, up to $105, bailing out Obama style; PEACE. Finally up for the session with that hand.
2:00 a.m
Card dead for about an hour now. The tables are also pathetic. Down to two tables unless something good ever develops. I’m about 150 FPPs from clearing a $50 stellar rewards bonus. How about you just void out the next suck-out lol? I also have to clear about 1,000 FPP to reach Platinum Star status. I’ve never had it before. There really isn’t much difference from gold-star except you earn FPPs at an accelerated rate, which is nice.
2:40 a.m
AA $12 pre. He flops a fucking set of 10’s. Nice $80 pot gone. Fuck my life seriously. How about you shove the $50 reward bonus up your ass and LET ME DODGE 2 OUTS ONE FUCKING TIME.
2:45 a.m
I’m down for the session. Lost another $90 pot on the same table. YUGOR OF ALL PEOPLE; THE ONLY CLOWN-BOX SHORT-STACKER WHOS BAD ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT CALL. I’m tilting my ass off. He called my pre raise with a 22 and HIT A SET against my overpair 88. I actually screamed out loud. There is no salvaging that. Fucking impossible, thanks stars I’m down for the night. I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DEPOSIT ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?
God I hate this shit. My blood is literally boiling. If I could have avoiding ONE OF THOSE SUCKOUTS my night would have been fine. I swear I am losing my mind. It’s already gone. $100 gone in suck-outs in 20 fucking minutes screwing my night. Back around $1500. Looking at that number makes me want to puke my guts out.
2:51 a.m
$35 all in preflop on table 2 with KK. I get two callers. The one guy had AK. The other guy had A6 suited. I lost the $120 pot to A6 suited. He turned the flush. I don’t know what else could possibly go wrong. This has turned into a complete nightmare. Oh and the guy with AK gave me protection and re-raised over $100 preflop. The guy with A6 suited still called. Amazing.
3:00 a.m
Table 3. All in preflop $40 with AK . Super-user calls with QK and flops top two pair. Never mind. I’ve just accepted that Stars has put in some kind of code where I will lose every hand until my bank-roll hits zero. My online poker “career” is obviously over. I could play 10 fucking years and not have this bad run balance out.
BANKROLL $1435.
FUNNY I haven’t made one incorrect play in the past hour. NOT ONE.
The tables have suddenly all dried up at once. All the bad players gone. And I’m left with nothing. Impossible to even begin to mount a comeback from what has occurred the past hour; let’s be honest. It could take months.
3:10 a.m
Just won a $70 pot all in with AQ preflop. I flopped a queen against 10 10. It’s a play I might have not made earlier. It was based on the opponents range. Yes I said I actually WON A POT. I know it makes no sense.
3:20 a.m
Lost a $70 pot right back with AQ. Again the play was based on the opponents range. He had QQ. Of course I couldn’t hit a 3-outer, only opponents can do that. It’s a one way street; fucked up world I live in. Doubled up shortly after on another table. My over-pair 99 held up to dodge 7 outs, now that’s a god damn miracle.
3:25 a.m
Just reached the reward for a FIFTY DOLLAR BONUS? It’s like a friend burned my million dollar house to the ground; but then gave me a card-board box to live in. He then says: “We are still cool right?”
Yeah that’s what just happened there……..
I wish the $50 “reward” was in paper check form so I could rip it up and mail it back. Next time just try not torturing me for 2-hours, letting my opponents hit every ridiculous suck-out imaginable to ruin my bankroll. TRY NOT LETTING THE A4 SUITED BEAT MY KK ALL IN PRE for a $120 pot. Can we do that or something?
4:00 a.m
I guess things have mellowed out. The calm after the disaster if you will. Pretty much keeping it to two tables, there isn’t much going on this late. I entered a 200 FPP rebuy to try to get into the $40 mirco million by satellite. When I get sucked out of that I will go to sleep. Even if I don’t get the satellite I will still buy in. What is $40? Looking at the shit above not much.
4:40 a.m
Nothing really going on the tables at this point. Haven’t had anything in a while. There are 7 people left in the satellite and 6 get seats. I’m average stack so I don’t have it on lock, but we will see. I should have more experience here from my 180 days.
The one table I’m playing I just doubled up to $80 getting all-in with JJ. The opponent calls with AJ and MISSED HIS THREE OUTS. I shouldn’t feel lucky to dodge 3 outs, but I absolutely do. That is not an easy thing for me to do apparently.
Done with the cash tables for tonight.
4:50 a.m
7 people in the satellite all in pre with AQ… called with 77. I HIT AN ACE wow. That would have sucked to be knocked out literally one seat away. I now have 15k chips in second place. I have plenty of chips to wait it out until one more of these fools go busto. The play here is terrible by the way. It should have been over a long time ago. Seat 2 just got knocked out that’s it; I placed. I turned about 600FPP into a $40 entry fee, which is very sweet. Hopefully I can wake up by 3:00 p.m to use it.
Finished a sad $1490 bankroll for the night. I’m going to add the $50 bonus to that to make myself feel better and say I was up barely.
Start: $1531
End: $1540
Hours: 8
Wow I’ve never felt so happy chalking up +$9 in 8 hours of play. I feel like I’ve lost -$500. Looking at some of the beats above it is shocking that I’m not down a lot more. Tough night; almost lost my sanity. Maybe I already have.
-bag
Reader Comments (7)
Bags, another virtual break even session. It's still way better than a loss. You should try to be more emotionally detached from the game. To become a long term winner, you will have to learn to handle the swings. No one wins all the time. No one. Your basic strategy seems solid. Have faith in yourself and your game. But above all, remain in control of yourself. Remember, be cool, rational, detached from the results. Make the right decision. That is all you can do. The cards will be what the cards will be. You may be preventing yourself from reaching the next level. Good luck.
I think it was Chip Reese who said something like ...
You're going to lose about 40% of your sessions even if you're a good player and if you get mad every time you lose you'll spend a lot of your life angry.
Thanks for the comments. That was truly a flip-out session. It was break even, but felt like a loss. I played another session Tuesday night and pretty much the same result. I would have been over +$100 in four hours, but my KK all in pre was destroyed by an opponent holding QQ as the river came QUEEN!
I'm an emotional person and player. I'm still working on detaching from out-come, but it's so damn hard. I'm working on reaching a maturity level where it truly doesn't affect me. It's not going to be easy to reach.
-bag
Well, I think you have a knack for unintentional comedy. If you can't get the emotions all the way under control I think you can parlay it into making an entertaining blog.
You could probably make some funny tuff_fish-esque YouTube videos, too.
FK,
Yeah I might as well fire up the videos already. Should look into getting a camera, going to need one eventually anyway. I feel this this rut isn't over. Haha, I'd say somewhat intentional comedy. I think as it's going on I realize in the back of my mind how ridiculous it will sound later.
Are you recommending continuing posting session commentary's? Or making a new blog devoted to my suffering?
-bag
I think keeping it all on one website is fine - otherwise it's almost like having split personality disorder.
Personally I like the running commentary. We have a similar sense of humor i.e. blunt and sarcastic so these have been my favorite reads.
I was thinking of doing one for an upcoming tournament but some times there just isn't enough action for that. Still, I might try.
FK,
Thanks for the feedback man. I wasn't really sure if they were an entertaining read or if I should stop them all together. It's good to know someone finds it funny, entertainment is a big point of it. I'm also always learning and want to be able to go back and plug leaks. I'm getting in a habit of always keeping a commentary, even if I don't always post it on the site. I'm also an emotional mess and want to track how crazy I am. And how often I totally lose it.
-bag