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After many years of going to school and saying no to drugs I graduated with a degree!  Little did I know it would lead me to being beaten into the ground at the hands of a soulless corporation.  After 3 years I quit to play poker professionally.  I've now been full-time over 7 years, yet revenge is still in the air.  It's crazy to look back and realize I started this blog as I was simply 'pumping myself up' to quit the real world and go full time.  Now I also do some writing for fun as a 'day job' (some freelance and paid, but an insignificant sum compared to 5/10 live) and airbnb my place when I don't feel like playing as much.

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Friday
Oct292010

Thursday Night Live Uncut (10/29/2010)

Live on a 1-2 table here.  HEY EVERYONE HERE IS HOW THE FUCKING 70 YEAR OLD+ PLAYS AA:

50 year old dude limps from UTG+2 preflop.  MP raises to $7 and there are two callers. 

I stare down at pocket QQ and 3 bet to $21.  The original limper calls and the others bail out.

FLOP:  8h 5h 3d

I raise about 3/4 of the pot to $40.  The fossil calls $40.

TURN.  10s

I put him all in for $107. 

He automatically calls and I know I'm fucked.  The way he called the $100 you would think the mother fucker was holding two jokers.  Did he just catch a set of fucking tens for real?

He of course turns over AA, you mother fucking son of a bitch.

So AA.  LIMP CALL. CALL. CALL FUCKING MORON there goes a +$350 night.  At this point I'm imagining a scenario where I'm jumping this dude as soon as he shows up for his early bird special at Dennys, all the while dressed up as a giant black ace.  That sounds racist ok RED ACE.  Anyways, cheers to what our taxes go towards to pay for this idots social security money.  Have fun dying in a year you impotent bastard.  I'm back to break even for the second half of my 12:40 a.m+ session.  At least I won +$220 early.  I'm being a dick and not actually this mad, but I really am.  Fuck you for real.  Ok I take the part back about you dying in a year.  But seriously shouldn't you be doing something else?  Go lay on beach somewhere.  Visit your fucking grand kids or something you son of a bitch.  GO TO DENNY'S NOW IT'S 4:00 A.M.  Whatever.  It's a shame I had no history on the guy so I couldn't put him on playing AA so stupidly.  But rest assured that's the last pot he ever drags off of me while getting in with the best of it.  It takes some moronic bull-shit for me to pay someone off like that holding a pair of queens on a 1-2 table, but this guy found a way.  CHEERS!

5 minutes later the tool-box who's been sitting at a 1-2 table for 3 horus hovering around $20 goes all in for $16 preflop.  Everyone folds and he shows AA.

Next hand he's all in again for $22.  I call from MP with JJ.  Fucker turns over AA, he just got dealt rockets twice in a row.  SAY WHAT DAWG?  I don't improve and if this was online I'm about to implode at this point.  I actually did just implode in my head, I am mind-fucked in disbelief. But not enough hands are dealt per minute for it to have any impact on my hourly win-rate.  Yes I have an hourly WIN-RATE on 1-2 live, but you wouldn't know it from reading this post I know.

ANYWAYS I'M THE FUCKING AA MAGNET.  What the fuck is going on here???  Play JJ+ and auto run into AA on a live 1-2 table lmao.  Now offically down $6 on this 12:40 a.m session.

Trying to stay cool, there is nothing I can do on the two hands where opponents were dealt AA.  Stay disciplined, the laws of probability have not been your friend this evening.  For that matter, the laws of probability should be arrested and jailed for raping me.

It's now 3:45 a.m

I will call it quits in about an hour after I run my JJ+ into AA on a live fucking 1-2 table 6 more times.  I should log this at about 5:40 a.m.  That would be 5 hours for the 2nd session, but I can chase if there is some reasonable action.  My schedule is comparable to that of a vampire, I've trained myself to chase action until 7:00 a.m if it is profitable to do so.

ACTUALLY, I'm worse than a vampire.  At least vampires go to bed at sunrise, but I don't.  I have no limits, no structure.  A vampire wouldn't even fucking date me for that matter, I stay up to damn late.  The vampire would be all like:

"I have to UH go to bed, the uh sun is going to rise soon...."

and "Jesus chrsit you run into AA a lot.  Are you seriously losing a 1-2 live session?  And you're a pro poker player?  This relationship is OVER!  You here me you BAG LIFE MOTHER FUCKER?????? OVER!!!"

Meanwhile, the dude in seat 6 just ordered a red wine at 4:10 a.m.  The waitress said she couldn't get him a glass of red until 5:00 a.m because of some sort of change-over.  You should see the look on his face.  You would think that someone just murdered his first born child in front of him or something.

WHAT KIND OF GOD DAMN DEGENERATE NEEDS WINE THIS DESPERATELY AT 4:00 A.M???

But who am I to judge I can't even get a fucking vampire to date me, our schedules don't match.  What the fuck is wrong with me?

Meanwhile, the guy who was just dealt AA for the 2nd hand in a row to obliterate my JJ just showed down AA for the 4th time in the span of an hour.  He's now up to $200+.  I'm not exaggerating I swear to you.  This dude actually got dealt rockets for the 4th time in under an hour on a live 1-2 table.  As crazy as that is, it's also pretty unusual that he hasn't been cracked one time.  Sickest thing I've seen in a while.  I'd own a fucking castle by now if I got dealt cards like that.  I'm about to shake down his girlfriend and empty her purse.  I bet you 50 ace-cards would fall out of that fucking purse.

It soon approaches 5:40 a.m and I finally leave the table.

8:00 p.m- 12:00 a.m :  +$230 in 4 hours

12:40 a.m- 5:40 a.m:  +$23 in 5 hours (fuck you) 

Whatever, I'll take it.  I feel like I just got my head beat in with a baseball bat during that 12:40 a.m- 5:40 a.m session, but I actually didn't lose any money.  Hell I won some money.  And I still stayed disciplined and played mistake free.  Sometimes half the battle is NOT LOSING.  Sometimes the laws of probability will mess with your profits.  Ok I mean there will be MANY TIMES where the laws of probability royally fuck with any chance you had of profiting during your session.  But you can't change that, all you can do is keep disciplined and make the correct decision during every single hand.  But hell I had fun tonight and even met some interesting people.  The last 5 hour stretch was tough, but I'll take it over corporate slavery any day.

It's now 6:45 a.m as I'm typing this at my place and both my roommates are awake and going to work.  LOL @ my awesome train-wreck life.  I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, I'm loving it.  I wouldn't even trade it for a vampire who is rebellious enough to date me.  Remember that would have to be one REALLY rebellious vampire if they were actually willing to stay up past sunrise.  She could accidently step outside and light on fire or something.  Yeah she should probably just date someone else.........

-bag

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Reader Comments (2)

Bags, sounds like a tough session. Don't sweat it. Sometimes, one doesn't win - that's why it's called gambling. However, I know it can be really frustrating to see the fish get dealt all the prime cards while you (a real player) get rags. I am guessing even a modest win and a frustrating session are preferrable to a regular day job? Yes, I thought so. As Hyman Roth said to Michael in the Godfather 2, "This is the business we have chosen." And so it is with you, this is the business you chose. Let it all go, it is all a part of the life you have sought for a long time. Some days are better than others. Just remember how long you have dreamed of being right where you are right now.
I found your vampire talk funny since you really are (sort of) a vampire.
You prey on others weaker than yourself. You mostly hunt at night and sleep during the day. Sounds positively vampiric. BTW -The last thing you should want is a girl that preys on you (and your roll).
Keep grinding and remember, if you ever get tired of taking the suckers' money, you can always go back to corporate wage slavery. NOT!

October 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucypher

Lucypher,

Yeah somehow this was one of the better sessions this weekend haha. Even modest wins are better then my old day job agreed. Indeed I feel like sort of a vampire!

-bag

November 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbaglife

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