The Path of Avoidance
Sunday, December 13, 2009 at 4:25AM Tonight I realized if I had nine lives I would have been through them all and then some. All the crazy ridiculous two outers that I become a victim of nightly can't over-ride how lucky I really am. I think I should keep this in mind as I go through life the next few months. As I was driving back home tonight I realized how stupid I really was. Sure I was fine to drive, but every other car on the road at 3:30 a.m is a cop. For that matter 95% of the mother-fuckers on the road at 3:30 a.m are "drunk" by the legal definition and would fail a sobriety test. What else would you be doing on the road at 3:30 a.m? You are coming back from a party. Cops are looking to bust people to make their quotas.
If I would have been pulled over it really would have been game over. I would have been over the legal limit and that is all that matters. I'm not sure why I even made the decision to drive back, even know I knew I would not endanger myself or any other person driving back. It still just wasn't worth risking my life over (as in getting arrested). Maybe I was being full of myself to a ridiculous point which allowed me to reason that driving back to my house was a logical choice, regardless of the circumstances that were occurring.
Come to think of it I should have gotten a DUI a long time ago, like in high-school. In a way the only reason I avoided those rough patches of my life was complete luck. If I got a DUI, think of how many 2 outers I would gladly accept on stupid $12 180 turbos to wipe my record clean, to have that one chance back, to start anew. And I'm going to try to keep this in mind as much as I can going forward. I deserve the 2 outer's, I deserve every bad beat I ever take in my life. Because I'm not entitled to shit, I don't deserve to dodge that two outer. It is me who has been "lucky" enough to get to this point with a clean slate, to even be in a position to go after my dreams.
And I sit here at 4:40 a.m and I set in stone a promise to myself:
NEVER AGAIN.
It's time to grow up. Never again will I put myself in such a stupid position. I will not be destroyed by a system, from this point forward I am the only one who will defeat myself. No one else will ever defeat me and that is a promise I am making to myself.
If anyone reading this looks down on me for what I wrote above, that is your right and choice. By all means never read this blog again, I am in no way perfect. But, I know my limits, and I know when I am well enough to drive or not to drive. I don't need the law to set a standard for me. However, I do have to realize I am not above the law. I had stopped drinking 3 hours ago, and had several glasses of water before I left, but I still could have been busted by some asshole. I would rather drive home with some lingering traces of alcohol in my system than be incredibly tired. I actually think being tired is much more dangerous than driving "under the influence" for most people. If I even had one drink during a night I am going to drive extremely paranoid and extra focused/careful, because I know I had that one drink so I'm going to be that much more careful.
People who wrecked their cars or harmed others because they drank and drove usually never understood their limits in the first place. These are mostly belligerents who were stupid enough to get into their car and drive black out drunk. It seems to me that the citizens of most other countries have less extreme cases and know how to handle themselves better. I think some of this has to do with the ridiculous drinking age imposed in the United States of 21 years old. Sure you can go fight for your country and die at 18, but drinking HELL NO. So kids grow up being taught that alcohol is taboo, and when they are finally of age they FLIP OUT and sometimes do really stupid things. If we are taught something is taboo it is often human nature to experiment. Meanwhile, if alcohol was taught to be an acceptable substance in moderation, the binge drinking episodes become far less of a problem. Kids grow up in Europe (ex France or Italy) having a glass of wine with dinner, it is not a big deal.
I didn't mean to steer this post into a political debate, so I'm going to cut this off shortly. The point is I am god damn lucky and I never want to get behind a wheel again after drinking, even if I only had one drink. I don't need something on my record that is going to make it that much harder to escape my unhappy situation around here. Why the fuck would I risk putting myself in that horrible situation? It just isn't worth fighting a flawed system.
In this case the path of avoidance is essential.
Reader Comments (4)
"but I still could have been busted by some asshole. "
wat? mea culpa's are ok, but the police are doing their job.
Your resolution is admirable. Each one of us is our own worst enemy. We have control over our lives and actions and if we can master ourselves, we will already be ahead of most people.
Mate,
You've come to the right conclusion... One time after a few beers I jumped into the car at 2am to go get some food. I felt fine but knew I was legally over the limit. On the way back I got pulled over by the cops and I tell you what, thank goodness I had eaten some seriously spicy shit because after asking me if I'd been drinking, they said "you're breath doesn't smell of alcohol" and they didn't breathalyse me.
I have never driven over the limit since then because as you said, it simply aint worth it.
Anyway, sounds like you're party was good and it's good to hear things are ticking along nicely with the lady... ;)
Thanks for the comments here, it really isn't worth it. Sorry for the borderline personal struggle injection.
"wat?" agree to disagree. I don't think cops are doing their job for busting someone with a .07 blood-alcohol content to make their quota. Pretty sure you can almost hit that BAC on cough medicine. If you are bombed and all over the road that's a different story. "Doing their job" would be driving 20 minutes south to the city where people are dealing serious shit and shooting at each other everynight. Not sure why so may cops are sprawled around empty highways at 3a.m. Oh wait yes I am sure, it's because of the money. In actuality resources should be allocated to fight more serious problems.
-bag