Weekly Review and Going Forward (11/8/2010)

Just got back from the live sessions today.  I will be sleeping at ease tonight.  I mean this morning, whatever you get the idea.....

Friday and Saturday were epic struggles as I won only $210 in a combined 16 hours of live play.  However, I came back strong on the tables today and won $475 in 9 hours of play.  I made sure I wiped out the Thursday loss and my live results look back on track again.

Instead of nitting it up even more I was playing more aggressively today and taking more moderate pots like I should be doing.  Whenever I say to myself: "I'm not going to play hands X like Y for whatever reason" it never works out well.  Situations will just naturally arise when I'm playing extended live sessions which I have trained myself to recognize and take advantage of.  I think during some of my mediocre results during the last few weeks I was too much of a nit and did not trust my skill enough.  Going into sessions with a mindset of "I'm going to nit up until I grind back X amount of money" is not correct.  The correct mindset is:

"I'm going to do everything in my power to fully exploit whatever situation I face."

Online Week Results

+$450 in 30 hours

My cash online sessions this week were absolutely miserable from Monday-Wednesday.  25 hours of play and I ended up down -$50 (1 buy in ).  You can't win em all, but yeah it sucked.

Saturday I played an online quarterly Supernova tournament that I recieved a free qualifier for.  There were over 4,500 entrants and I finished around 170th place for +$500.  It took about 5.5 hours out of my Saturday.  I had a GREAT time playing, it was really fun.  I was amazed at how many bad players were in the tournament and the waves of incredibly stupid plays I saw.  I thought it would be like, I don't know; all Supernova players who are good?  The experience if anything really makes me want to mix tournaments into my schedule more.  The final hand I was dealt AQs UTG in an automatic push situation pre-flop.  I pushed, one person raised huge, and another went all in over the top.  At that point I knew I needed a flush to win.  Villain one turned over AKo, Villain two showed KK.  I actually turned a flush draw but no help on the river.

So the tournament win was huge and saved my online results this week.  I'm going to do my best online going forward, but it's not the end of the world if I play around break even a week or two.  I'm still eventually going to clear another $1500 Supernova bonus, so it's still worth my while.  It's also worth my while because it's where my skill is really improving due to the top notch competition.  Also, I'm on 20-50 BB tables so the variance is going to be massive.  Last week I won $750 online (without the bonus).  This week I lost -$50 (without the tournament win).

Live Weekly Results

+$431 in 31 hours

I started live sessions on Thursday again this week.  My mediocrity streak soon turned into a nightmare Thursday as I slipped up and ended up dropping -$250 on a night where I shouldn't have even walked into the casino after drinking.  The most disappointing part was not the net loss.  It was that I shipped $100+ on a clear mistake (something I haven't done in months), and my decision to play after drinking so much.  Once I sat down and had a splitting headache that should have been it.

The good news is I fully recovered and broke into profit this weekend.  Not only did I recover the profit, but more importantly I fully recovered my live confidence.

Total:

+$881 in 61 hours

Don't plan on reporting net profit or loss every week, but I felt like doing it here for whatever reason.  Not ground breaking results, but I found a way and got by.  I've been making much more than I did at my old job.  I'm also much happier and enjoying my life situation.  I also did not rot in hellish commute for one damn minute this week.  My farthest drive is a casino about 5 miles away.  I'm going to be saving over $250 per month on gas alone.  Also, not being stuck in a bullshit office surrounded by corporate drones barking orders at me was a plus.  And I didn't wear one lame ass pair of slacks.  Those days are gone and I'm thrilled.  For the first time in my life I'm doing 100% exactly what I want to do and I can actually say that I'm proud of myself.

Goals This Week:

1)  At least 50 hours of online and live play combined.  Mon-Wed online and Thurs-Sun live.

2)  Work out 2-3 times.  Minimum twice.  Maybe two work-outs and a run one day.

3)  Continue to eat decent.

4)  Take off a day.  It's probably going to be Wednesday or Thursday.  I think it may be wise to force myself to take off one FULL DAY.  I don't remember the last day I went without playing at least 6 hours of poker whether it be online or live.  I don't feel burnt out or anything, but there is no problem with treating myself to a break.  I will most likely set up a dinner with my roommate, and do whatever that night.  If I drink I'm damn sure not going to the casino that night.

Live Downswing (11/5/2010)

It's gone from a really bad week to a straight up downswing live.  I am really not happy with myself right now.  From 10/3-10/29 I won 15 out of 16 live sessions for +$2,048.  During the last 5 sessions I've lost 5 out of 6, now down -$362 in that span.  That includes bleeding an unthinkable -$265 last night, which was my far my worst live 1-2 result EVER.  How did last night happen?  One really bad mistake, combined with running like shit, mixed in with pushing small edges to aggressively.

Starting off the night I made a really stupid mistake and was stuck -$150 (a full buy in) within the first hour.  I stacked off with top pair jack ace kicker against an opponent I really didn't know much about.  He had the set.   In any other live sesion I would have given up my left nut before I stacked off to this clown with a top pair.  But when it rains it pours.

As if it wasn't bad enough that I really have been running atrocious, combine it with a mistake like that and it's over.  I think there are four factors contributing to my current misery:

Played last night after Drinking.

Before I played last night I went out to dinner with a girl and had half a bottle of wine.  This is usually nothing, but it was by far the most I have drank in the past month.  After the dinner I headed over to the casino.  From the get go I was really not in the right state of mind.  I had a splitting head-ache during most of the session.  Also I came in with a sort of gun-slinging idiot mode.  The play with AJ was completely unacceptable and I have every reason to be disappointed in myself for making it.  From here on out if I want to go out and drink a decent amount I will take that night off from playing.  Also I sort of like the girl, but can't act on the feeling because of the situation which complicated things more.  So I had a lot on my head when I first started playing.  I should not have even walked into the casino last night.

Live 1-2 is Not Online Poker.

It's not even close.  I noticed my live results have plummeted since I started playing online Monday-Wednesday each week.  There are very distinct differences.  I've been ignoring these differences, trying to aggressively push small edges, and unnecessarily losing plenty of moderate pots.  This is NOT how you win at 1-2 live.  I think this is really contributing to my downswing during the last 25 hours.  So going forward I have to get into a different mindset playing live.  There are some specific adjustments I will be making for the remainder of this weekend.  STOP PLAYING 1-2 like online low stakes.

I'm Over-Working Myself.

It doesn't feel like it, but I have been.  I've been working out some, eating decent, and getting rest.  However, I have now played poker the last 12 days straight.  My obession to get off to a strong start may turn against me.  I should have taken off last night, serves me right.

Running Really Badly.

Not one set flopped in the last 38 hours of live play.  This has got to be some kind of sick record.  But my opponent's sure haven't had trouble hitting tons of sets looting moderate pots from me.  When you run this bad you want to push small edges, use your skill, and get back on a good track really fast.  Unfortunately, this is not how you grind out a solid hourly rate 1-2 live.  Like last night with the AJo hand when I was probably buzzed as well.  Ok top pair jack in a 4-5 way pot.  Bet $35, one caller.  Turn is a scare card king.  Bet $50 (HUGE MISTAKE LIVE).  This isn't fucking online.  It's now a check fold hand at best.  Ok he calls again.  River  BET $50.  Now it's just gone from a huge mistake to complete stupidity.  Of course he puts me all in for $20+ more and shows the set.  Of course the most annoying fucking dimwit on the table and I paid him.

This has been a really bad set-back for me.  I guess it's better I ran into now rather then dropping $2,000 at 2-5 or whatever.  I can recover from a -$50 loss in the past 38 hours.  Well I'm going to do all in my power to stay focused and get back in the right mind-set.  I have a long weekend ahead of me.

I've made more off the stock market this week then I have with poker, which is really embarrassing.  Let's uh make sure that's a fluke.......

And here I thought investing in stocks was by far the most irresponsible thing I was doing with a portion of my money.

Tough Week So Far (11/3/2010)

Since my last post things have gone pretty badly on the poker tables.  I put in live sessions Thursday-Sunday and finished with around $200 in 27 hours.  That's simply not going to cut it obviously.  That was the worst run of live sessions I've had in the past three months.  It was unreal, there was action all around me, I just could NOT get a piece.

I also flopped 0 sets in 27 hours somehow.  However, I did turn one with 88, of course the opponent already flopped the set of aces.  I still got away from the hand because there was a flush draw out.  If it wasn't for the draw he would have stacked me.

There was a huge hand I lost on Sunday afternoon that would have turned things around.  I was dealt AJo and raised $12 or so.  There were literally five callers.  Flop comes:

Ad Js 3d

So I put in a close to pot size  bet around $50.  Two callers (wow).  I always get myself in these stupid situations.  I had been running bad enough all weekend, I should have just pushed and tried to take down the fucking pot right there.  I was thinking to myself OK I'm all in on the turn.  I'm absolutely fine unless there is a KING or QUEEN.  These are the last two fucking cards I want to see:

TURN  Ks

MOTHER FUCK.  That's great just the card someone needs to two pair there misplayed AK and take this pot down.  Action on me and I have about $100 left.  After thinking some I concluded that I have to shove.  The pot is already massive and one of the guys in is going to stack off with anything.  The other guy has a draw, AK, or AQ.

I go all in.  BOTH CALL

River:  Blank

Villian 1:  AKo

Villain 2:  ATo

I could seriously punch villain one in his face for misplaying AK that badly and getting rewarded.  Found out in the next hour villain one was a complete nit.  So he was capable of playing about 5% of the dealt to him and incorrectly for that matter.  I was really steamed after I lost this pot.  So there went any chance of salvaging a respectable weekend.

Going Forward

Last week I made more online then I did live which I did not expect.  This week online has been going terribly as well.  I can't dodge a two outer no matter what the fuck I do.  I'm down around -$24 in my first 18 hours of 8 tabling this week, so about break even.  Tonight I will resume the online grind.  I'm also turning off my chat because I said a few stupid things last night.  I'm removing my chat privledges at least a week.  Maybe if I can handle variance like a real man I'll turn it back on.

If online goes REALLY bad during the first 4 hours tonight I might just check out the live scene.  I'm commited to doing whatever it takes to turn the start of this month around and get back on track.  I'll easily end up with over 50 hours played this week (around 25 online, 25-30 live).

I also have a Supernova elite freeroll quarterly tournament I have to play Saturday at 2p.m.  So that should ensure that I play slightly more online this week.  I haven't played a big tournament in a while, I've really been all cash this year, but it is free.  It is worth it with the last payout spot being around $200 something.  So that's not bad for 1,000th place.  If I bust I'll just resume live play earlier on Saturday.

Keeping Things in Perspective

The last 40 hours combined of live and online have been REALLY stupid.  However, I'm trying to keep my development and long term results in mind.  Last month I played a combined 120 hours online and live.  I ended up making double what I would have made in corporate during the same amount of hours.  And take away the commute and bull-shit sounds about right.  Since the end of August I have played 150 hours live and gone up over $3,500 so I shouldn't reallyc are that I lost one $150 buy in because a jack-ass turned his 3 outer king.

I have sometimes have around zero control when it comes to short-term results, that is something that it may take me a long time to truly grasp.  I really am still working on it.  Hell I may NEVER fully grasp it, some people never do.

It's a constant war between variance, discipline, volume, and skill.

Variance I can't control, it is my biggest adversary.

However, discipline I can control.  It can help me temporarily chase away variance.  But if I slip on discipline it may very well join variance and help destroy me.

Volume, I can also control.  How much volume I put in each weak ties directly into my level of dedication and commitment to the game.  However it has to be correctly placed volume.  My health also has to be kept in mind.  If I over-work myself volume can quickly become my enemy.  For example, don't chase a game until 8:00 a.m, that's almost always stupid.  Great you got in an extra two hours of play and ruined your schedule for the next three days!

Skill is my ace in the hole.  It is an X factor that I can always improve and develop further.  Skill is as permenant as variance.  Just as variance can ruin me, skill is always there to save me.