Just finished up a disgusting night at the tables down -$420 in 8 hours. That's just under a buy-in. Down -$370 for the 17 live hours this week so far. The final 5 hours consisted of not picking up one top 20% hand and staying around break even stealing a small pot every once in a while. The best hand I picked up was TT, I'm not even kidding. Not JJ+ one fucking time and I still managed to somehow be over break even until the set rape. I was totally card dead fucked even know there was some decent action going on around me.
During the final 20 minutes I flopped a set for I don't know probably the first time in 35 hours live. I hold pocket tens
FLOP Ts Qs 6
An extremely wet flop, definitely ahead but destined to lose if your run like me. I check raise the flop, villain calls.
TURN: Kx
Really not a great turn card either, but it doesn't change much. Now KK beats me, but I had him on AQ, a random flush draw, or QQ+, I'm not sure what else he is hanging around with here. God only knows though, this is live and the guy just sat down. Anyways, I raise about $180 on the turn (about 3/4 pot), he gets all in (only $100 more), I obviously call. Pot is around $900.
RIVER: Ax
Villain of course shows QKo, rivers the fucking straight, wow that's fucking nice. Here we go again, I'm over 75% to win but I can't hold one god damn time. So that ruined the entire night. it was the only meaningful situation I managed to get in during the last 5 hours of play. After that I just left. I didn't have time at 6:00 a.m to wait 8 more hours for another meaningful situation to only get fucked out of the pot.
Decided to accept defeat, get some sleep, and get back at it tomorrow. It's been a brutal week so far. On the bright side I haven't lost a buy-in ($500) yet, I haven't made a mistake yet, and I still have Saturday left. So much for going out this weekend, I'd be lucky to break even the way things are going. I think it was a correct move to leave when I did. I was just so rattled and disgusted to the core. It was also past 5:00 a.m.
All I can do is refocus and do my best tomorrow.
It's been one of the worst days ever actually. I just found out one of my best friends from high school died yesterday. He was found in a garage either over-dosed or carbon monoxide poisoning. I hadn't talked to him really at all during the last year or two. But in high-school, even beginning of college we were very close. Eventually he started getting a little crazy and I just lost touch with him. I remember the last few times I saw him I really didn't know how to deal with him. Now i just feel like shit because I didn't make an effort to see how he was doing during the last year or two. He never did serious drugs in high school, just drank and smoked the usual. He must have really gone down-hill. It's just depressing as hell. The fucked up thing known as life goes on I guess. I'm going to have to visit home because the funeral is Tuesday. It's going to take out my online week, but I obviously have no choice. I'm also planning on preparing a speech for him at his funeral. He was the closest person I've been to who passed away so it's hitting me very hard right now.
It's going to go something like this (I made up the name and there's a lot of proof reading to be done):
"I've known Joe a long time and I wanted to say a few words and tell a quick story. We were extremely close friends in high school and had some amazing memories together.
Life isn't always easy, life isn't always fair. But when times were tough, If I could pick one person I've met in my life who I would want by my side, it would be Joe.
The story that comes to my mind is when I turned 21:
When I turned 21 I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I didn't have a lot of friends at the time, and really thought turning 21 was a little over-rated. I've been drinking many years already right? So who cares? But when Joe and I coordinated we figured out exactly what to do. We were going to go to the beach! Hit up the bars in Ocean City MD Right? I'm 21 now!! So completely unplanned within 12 hours Joe was ready to take off for Ocean City with me.
The next morning we drove out, got my license renewed, and we were off. Joe was the only person I knew who would have the ability to do something like that completely unattached, no strings attached, unplanned, just have a great time. There was no 'oh my god my job', or 'but my girl friend is going to hate me', we just did it. We went withotu a worry and had an incredible time. And whoever wanted to join us later did. Come to think about it I don't even remember who else showed up to be honest. I just remember having an amazing time unplanned. And that's the Joe I remember.
So here I am 4 years later, and actually in the mail I was notified that I have get my license renewed, because I'm 25 now. But now I have no one to go to the beach with unplanned. It's going to be the most depressing renewal at the DMV ever. And Joe I wish you were here so we could have that license renewal party reunion in Ocean City man. We would have so much fun, it would be just like old times. We would run that town man.
I'm sorry I sort of lost touch with you during the last year or two. I should have made more of an effort to get in touch with you and make sure things were going ok. And that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. I just wanted to say I feel lucky to have had you as a friend for even a brief period of time. I respect you because you taught me to stand up for myself. I respect you because you were the one person I would want by my side in the worst possible situation. I respect you because you agreed that it can be a beautiful thing to sometimes rebel in your own way against an otherwise structured life-path.
I miss you. We all miss you and love you. Rest in Peace, I will never forget you."
-bag